Please draft Darrelle Revis.
Love,
everyone not named Ike Taylor.
Showing posts with label steelers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label steelers. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
The 2006 Steelers: A Requiem
It sure is a sign of the times that I had no idea who even won the Denver/Cincinnati game until this morning. It's hard enough for me to watch more football when the Steelers lose, but watching football after the Steelers have been eliminated from playoff contention is something that I'm not used to dealing with altogether. In 2003, there wasn't really any suspense because the team wasn't any good to begin with (but that still didn't stop me from throwing my remote control at Amos Zeroue during a humiliating Monday Night loss in San Francisco). In 1998, 1999, and 2000, #10 was under center. Most of the time, anyway.
But when a team is this talented (and returning everyone but a gimmicky wide receiver and a fat old running back from a Super Bowl team constitutes talent no matter how you break it down), there's no excuse for missing the postseason. What's even more frustrating is that the Steelers outplayed their opponent in at least four of their eight losses, plus the first half in San Diego. The only games they were really shown up were against Jacksonville and the Shitbird debacles.
To prove my point, the crushing disappointment of the Steelers' season can essentially be summed up in five plays:
5. December 24. Ravens @ Steelers - Willie Parker's season-ender
With the Steelers' season already on life support, needing to win their final two games and help from a bunch of other teams to sneak into the playoffs, the second leg of the Pittsburgh/Baltimore derby started out looking a lot like the first leg. The Ravens began at or near midfield just about every time they got the ball in the first half thanks to the inability of the Steelers offense to get so much as a first down and converted this into a 14-0 lead until a gift Steve McNair interception that was tipped by his own receiver finally sparked the Steelers, who converted a gutsy 4th-and-goal from the 2 to go into the half down by only seven.
The Ravens began the second half by driving the length of the field for another touchdown, and after the teams traded several punts and turnovers, the Steelers finally went on a drive of their own, starting at their own two. With first-and-ten from the Baltimore 11, Willie Parker rumbled for eight yards but fumbled on his way down at the three. The Steelers didn't score again and their playoff hopes vanished quietly into the Christmas Eve night. The Ravens swept the season series for the first time ever. Embarrassing.
4. November 5. Broncos @ Steelers - Hines Ward's sickeningly unlucky encounter with John Lynch's helmet
Having lost four of five to fall to 2-5, the Steelers desperately needed a win and racked up 500 yards against the Broncos vaunted defense but found themselves down 31-20 with just under five minutes left in the game thanks to four turnovers inside Denver's 20. On an eerily similar 1st-and-10 at the Denver 11 just before the two-minute warning, Ben Roethlisberger hit Hines Ward on a short route, and Hines juked and jived his way to the one, where, as he he was diving to extend his arm across the goal line, John Lynch stuck his head up and inadvertently dislodged the ball. The Broncos recovered, but went three-and-out and gave the ball back with 1:26 left. Who knows what would have happened if it had still been a one-score game, perhaps only needing a field goal to tie it. The Steelers reached their low point of the season at 2-6, a hole from which they were not able to recover.
3. October 22. Steelers @ Falcons - Nate Washington's flinch
In one of the most exciting games of the season, the Steelers had their first opportunity to get back to .500 after their already severely disappointing start. A back-and-forth affair saw seven lead changes, a quarterback K.O., and an incredible 70-yard Hines Ward catch-and-run for a touchdown in which he accumulated about 35 YALAS (Yards After Losing A Shoe).
Shoeless Hines Ward celebrates his feat.
The Steelers had endured their by-now weekly case of fumblitis, putting the ball on the ground four times and losing three of them, but heroic performances by Ben and the greatest backup quarterback of all time, Charlie Batch, took the game to a 38-38 tie late in the 4th. The Falcons drove to the Steelers' 38 with thirty seconds left to try a 57-yard field goal. The effort from Matt Koenen was well short, but Ron Winter and his crew gave everyone in Western Pennsylvania seizures resulting from Joe Nedney flashbacks by calling a flimsy "running into the kicker" penalty on Troy Polamalu, a call assisted largely due to Koenen's dramatic flop onto Troy's head. This gave the Falcons a mulligan and Jim Mora Jr. thought it would be wise for 80-year-old Morten Andersen to try the resulting 52-yarder. This effort also fell a few yards short.
The Steelers got the ball back, and Batch promptly fired off a 25-yard pass to Hines Ward to the Falcons' 33. With no time-outs left, Batch hurried the team to the line to spike the ball so the much more able-bodied and spry Jeff Reed could try a 52-yarder of his own. Second-year receiver Nate Washington picked the most inopportune moment to scratch his ass, and was flagged for a false start. With the clock running, the consequence was a 10-second runoff, ending regulation. The defense spent overtime curled up in a fetal position on the field, and Senor Mexico gave the Great Dane a much easier 32-yarder. While a 52-yarder is no gimme, Jeff Reed was perfect away from home this season, and I certainly would have liked Skippy's chances there. As it was, the Steelers' woes continued.
2. September 24. Bengals @ Steelers - Ricardo Colclough's gross incompetence
With just over eight minutes left in the game and a 17-14 lead, the Steelers are about to get the ball back from a thoroughly confused Bengals offense, which has been held to a whopping 13 yards on five drives in the second half. In what turned out to be an ominous portent of things to come, Ricardo Colclough muffed the punt with no would-be tacklers in sight and then failed to see the big brown thing rolling around at his feet, instead letting Cinci special teamers dive all over it at the Steelers 9. This was the third of five Steelers turnovers, and the of two that Carson Palmer followed up with a one-play touchdown (the other happened on the Steelers' next possession following a Verron Haynes fumble). Ben also threw two picks inside the Bengals red zone. You do the math.
1. October 29. Steelers @ Raiders - Ben Roethlisberger's Tommy Maddox impression
If I had to pinpoint any one play from this season to show why the Steelers will be missing the playoffs, it would be one from this game. Tommy Maddox was known to lose a game entirely by himself from time to time. His replacement, wunderkind Ben Roethlisberger, was known for his ability not to give games away (a reputation that would be markedly tarnished as the 2006 season progressed). The Raiders, firmly established as one of the sorriest franchises in the NFL today, were not supposed to pose any threat to a team with the aspirations of the defending champs.
The play in particular came with the Steelers down 13-6 already thanks to a 24-yard pick-six courtesy of Ben Roethlisberger's errant right arm. With 9:49 remaining in regulation, the Steelers had driven inside the Raiders 10. On third down, Ben was intercepted once more by Courtney Carr who took it from end zone to end zone to completely debilitate the Steelers. That's a swing of 10 points there folks, in a game that the Steelers ended up losing by 7. Adding insult to injury, the Steelers held that Andrew Walter-led Raiders offense to a massive 98 total yards, bringing up shades of that epic Tommy Maddox vs. Aaron Glenn battle of yore.
If any one of those plays had gone in the Steelers favor, let alone two or even three of them, we most likely wouldn't be having this conversation. But I guess the best teams overcome adversity, and the Steelers weren't quite good enough to climb out of the Mariana Trench-sized abyss they'd dug for themselves after shooting themselves in the foot so many times. I guess booting Cinci out of the playoffs would be fun and all but even that would be predicated on what Denver and Kansas City do. As long as the Patriots or Ravens lose as soon as possible, I don't really care what else happens. Maybe I'll even watch a playoff game or two, but for the most part, the month of January is now...dead to me.
But when a team is this talented (and returning everyone but a gimmicky wide receiver and a fat old running back from a Super Bowl team constitutes talent no matter how you break it down), there's no excuse for missing the postseason. What's even more frustrating is that the Steelers outplayed their opponent in at least four of their eight losses, plus the first half in San Diego. The only games they were really shown up were against Jacksonville and the Shitbird debacles.
To prove my point, the crushing disappointment of the Steelers' season can essentially be summed up in five plays:
5. December 24. Ravens @ Steelers - Willie Parker's season-ender
With the Steelers' season already on life support, needing to win their final two games and help from a bunch of other teams to sneak into the playoffs, the second leg of the Pittsburgh/Baltimore derby started out looking a lot like the first leg. The Ravens began at or near midfield just about every time they got the ball in the first half thanks to the inability of the Steelers offense to get so much as a first down and converted this into a 14-0 lead until a gift Steve McNair interception that was tipped by his own receiver finally sparked the Steelers, who converted a gutsy 4th-and-goal from the 2 to go into the half down by only seven.
The Ravens began the second half by driving the length of the field for another touchdown, and after the teams traded several punts and turnovers, the Steelers finally went on a drive of their own, starting at their own two. With first-and-ten from the Baltimore 11, Willie Parker rumbled for eight yards but fumbled on his way down at the three. The Steelers didn't score again and their playoff hopes vanished quietly into the Christmas Eve night. The Ravens swept the season series for the first time ever. Embarrassing.
4. November 5. Broncos @ Steelers - Hines Ward's sickeningly unlucky encounter with John Lynch's helmet
Having lost four of five to fall to 2-5, the Steelers desperately needed a win and racked up 500 yards against the Broncos vaunted defense but found themselves down 31-20 with just under five minutes left in the game thanks to four turnovers inside Denver's 20. On an eerily similar 1st-and-10 at the Denver 11 just before the two-minute warning, Ben Roethlisberger hit Hines Ward on a short route, and Hines juked and jived his way to the one, where, as he he was diving to extend his arm across the goal line, John Lynch stuck his head up and inadvertently dislodged the ball. The Broncos recovered, but went three-and-out and gave the ball back with 1:26 left. Who knows what would have happened if it had still been a one-score game, perhaps only needing a field goal to tie it. The Steelers reached their low point of the season at 2-6, a hole from which they were not able to recover.
3. October 22. Steelers @ Falcons - Nate Washington's flinch
In one of the most exciting games of the season, the Steelers had their first opportunity to get back to .500 after their already severely disappointing start. A back-and-forth affair saw seven lead changes, a quarterback K.O., and an incredible 70-yard Hines Ward catch-and-run for a touchdown in which he accumulated about 35 YALAS (Yards After Losing A Shoe).
Shoeless Hines Ward celebrates his feat.
The Steelers had endured their by-now weekly case of fumblitis, putting the ball on the ground four times and losing three of them, but heroic performances by Ben and the greatest backup quarterback of all time, Charlie Batch, took the game to a 38-38 tie late in the 4th. The Falcons drove to the Steelers' 38 with thirty seconds left to try a 57-yard field goal. The effort from Matt Koenen was well short, but Ron Winter and his crew gave everyone in Western Pennsylvania seizures resulting from Joe Nedney flashbacks by calling a flimsy "running into the kicker" penalty on Troy Polamalu, a call assisted largely due to Koenen's dramatic flop onto Troy's head. This gave the Falcons a mulligan and Jim Mora Jr. thought it would be wise for 80-year-old Morten Andersen to try the resulting 52-yarder. This effort also fell a few yards short.
The Steelers got the ball back, and Batch promptly fired off a 25-yard pass to Hines Ward to the Falcons' 33. With no time-outs left, Batch hurried the team to the line to spike the ball so the much more able-bodied and spry Jeff Reed could try a 52-yarder of his own. Second-year receiver Nate Washington picked the most inopportune moment to scratch his ass, and was flagged for a false start. With the clock running, the consequence was a 10-second runoff, ending regulation. The defense spent overtime curled up in a fetal position on the field, and Senor Mexico gave the Great Dane a much easier 32-yarder. While a 52-yarder is no gimme, Jeff Reed was perfect away from home this season, and I certainly would have liked Skippy's chances there. As it was, the Steelers' woes continued.
2. September 24. Bengals @ Steelers - Ricardo Colclough's gross incompetence
With just over eight minutes left in the game and a 17-14 lead, the Steelers are about to get the ball back from a thoroughly confused Bengals offense, which has been held to a whopping 13 yards on five drives in the second half. In what turned out to be an ominous portent of things to come, Ricardo Colclough muffed the punt with no would-be tacklers in sight and then failed to see the big brown thing rolling around at his feet, instead letting Cinci special teamers dive all over it at the Steelers 9. This was the third of five Steelers turnovers, and the of two that Carson Palmer followed up with a one-play touchdown (the other happened on the Steelers' next possession following a Verron Haynes fumble). Ben also threw two picks inside the Bengals red zone. You do the math.
1. October 29. Steelers @ Raiders - Ben Roethlisberger's Tommy Maddox impression
If I had to pinpoint any one play from this season to show why the Steelers will be missing the playoffs, it would be one from this game. Tommy Maddox was known to lose a game entirely by himself from time to time. His replacement, wunderkind Ben Roethlisberger, was known for his ability not to give games away (a reputation that would be markedly tarnished as the 2006 season progressed). The Raiders, firmly established as one of the sorriest franchises in the NFL today, were not supposed to pose any threat to a team with the aspirations of the defending champs.
The play in particular came with the Steelers down 13-6 already thanks to a 24-yard pick-six courtesy of Ben Roethlisberger's errant right arm. With 9:49 remaining in regulation, the Steelers had driven inside the Raiders 10. On third down, Ben was intercepted once more by Courtney Carr who took it from end zone to end zone to completely debilitate the Steelers. That's a swing of 10 points there folks, in a game that the Steelers ended up losing by 7. Adding insult to injury, the Steelers held that Andrew Walter-led Raiders offense to a massive 98 total yards, bringing up shades of that epic Tommy Maddox vs. Aaron Glenn battle of yore.
If any one of those plays had gone in the Steelers favor, let alone two or even three of them, we most likely wouldn't be having this conversation. But I guess the best teams overcome adversity, and the Steelers weren't quite good enough to climb out of the Mariana Trench-sized abyss they'd dug for themselves after shooting themselves in the foot so many times. I guess booting Cinci out of the playoffs would be fun and all but even that would be predicated on what Denver and Kansas City do. As long as the Patriots or Ravens lose as soon as possible, I don't really care what else happens. Maybe I'll even watch a playoff game or two, but for the most part, the month of January is now...dead to me.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
NFL Picks: Week 16
It's crunch time in the NFL, and I honestly can't remember the last time there were this many teams with a legitimate chance of making the playoffs this late in the season.
In the NFC, three teams (Chicago, New Orleans, and Dallas) have clinched playoff spots and four (Washington, Arizona, Tampa Bay, and Detroit) have been eliminated. One more, the Seattle Seahawks, would really have to screw things up to not win the NFC West and Minnesota would require an inordinate amount of help to squeak in at 7-9 (which would be hilarious).
The AFC is every bit as much of a clusterfuck as its weaker counterpart, with three teams having clinched divisions (San Diego, Indianapolis, Baltimore), a fourth firmly in the driver's seat (New England), and four teams completely out of it (Miami, Houston, Cleveland, and Oakland).
With just two weeks left in the season, that's fifteen teams whose playoff hopes are still completely up in the air. This, folks, is what the NFL means by parity. One of those teams is my Steelers, who at 7-7 currently face two must-win games of their own, plus require any number of scenarios involving other teams winning and/or losing in order to sneak into January. It's a little more nerve-wracking than I would have preferred, but it makes doing weekly picks so much easier - I'm able to make picks strictly on how the outcome of the game affects the Steelers' chances.
Let's begin. Once again, these picks are all against the spread.
Minnesota Vikings 7 @ Green Bay Packers 9 (-3.5), 8 p.m., Thursday
I missed the boat on this one, but on Pigskin I actually did pick the Vikings to both cover and win. Since the pool I'm in only counts record versus the spread, I started off the weekend 1-0. Not that this game matters at all. Minnesota could still make the playoffs if they beat the Rams next week and a bunch of other teams lose, mainly because their conference record is still 6-5. A sub-.500 team in the playoffs would be mind-blowing.
Vikings.
Kansas City Chiefs @ Oakland Raiders (+3.5), 8 p.m., Saturday
The Chiefs only get three and a half against the Raiders? Yikes. Impact on the Steelers: It's actually very good if the Chiefs win out because the Steelers own a head-to-head tiebreaker against them, and if both K.C. and Denver finish 9-7, the Chiefs would do us the favor of knocking Denver out based on a better division record because in any case where more than two teams are tied, division ties are always broken first. The NFL tiebreaker rules are great in that regard.
Kansas City.
Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers (-3.5), 1 p.m.
I'm not entirely sure why the Steelers would be favored in this game, but I'll take them and the points. I originally thought about banking on a three-point win for the Steelers and thus picking Baltimore, but that's just so full of bad karma and I didn't feel like toying with fate. I don't have a good feeling about this game at all, but I do think if the offense just goes to max protect and gets some screen passes and little dumps over the middle to Heath Miller going, picking up 5-7 yards on first and second down, getting into managable third down situations, then they'll have a chance. Baltimore's offense did nothing remarkable in the first game, but you're going to score points if your defense only lets the other team have the ball for like 12 minutes. The Steelers need to avoid falling into that trap again.
Pittsburgh.
Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons (-6.5), 1 p.m.
I don't really care who wins this game, but the Panthers have looked so woeful recently and Jake Delhomme is still out, leaving the game (and the Panthers' playoff hopes) in the hands of Chris Weinke and his 16-game losing streak. I gotta take the Falcons, who, by winning, would set up a neat showdown in Week 17 in Philadelphia.
Atlanta.
Chicago Bears @ Detroit Lions (+4.5), 1 p.m.
Another unusually small spread, but that's probably just because Chicago's already clinched everything possible. Doesn't matter, I think I'd take the Bears practice squad over the Lions at this point.
Chicago.
Indianapolis Colts @ Houston Texans (+9.5), 1 p.m.
The Colts get a huge boost in their quest for home field advantage and/or a first-round bye against the Texans, who have never beaten Indy in the existence of the franchise. The Colts deserve a break, though, for knocking off the Bengals for us last Monday night.
Indianapolis.
New England Patriots @ Jacksonville Jaguars (-2.5), 1 p.m.
This is where it gets good. This is one of the most pivotal games in the last two weeks for the Steelers, as pretty much the only thing that can't happen in the AFC is the Jaguars to win out. The Pats' rag-tag secondary in which Chad Scott plays safety against David Garrard coming off one of the best Tommy Maddox impressions we've ever seen, losing to the Titans almost single-handedly by throwing four picks, two of which were brought to the house. It's so bizarre having to root for Tom Brady to do well.
New England.
New Orleans Saints @ New York Giants (-2.5), 1 p.m.
It's the first play of the fourth quarter in the 2004 AFC Championship game. Ben Roethlisberger's scattershot throwing has put the Steelers in a pretty big hole (kind of like the whole 2006 season), but he's marched them inside the Patriots 5-yard line with a chance to make it a 7-point game. On third down, Ben throws a perfect fade to Plaxico Burress, who at 6'5" has easily boxed out the 5'11" Randall Gay. All Plex has to do is reach up and catch the ball. Except he realized that there was a defender within ten yards of him and allowed the ball to clank uselessly off his hands before curling into a fetal position in the corner of the end zone. After picking the Giants all year based on the immense amount of talented players on their roster and getting frustrated time and time again, it's occurred to me that I don't even like the Giants. Enough is enough.
New Orleans.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Cleveland Browns (-3.5), 1 p.m.
Is there even any reason this game is being played? Seriously, the teams could just go and have a huge pow-wow at midfield and I doubt anyone would even notice.
Cleveland.
Tennessee Titans @ Buffalo Bills (-4.5), 1 p.m.
Very intriguing. One team will win and keep its playoff hopes alive, and the other will lose and be eliminated. Similar to the Chiefs, the Steelers would own any tiebreaker against the Titans, except it would go all the way down to common games. Thus, having the Titans at 9-7 would be a huge asset in the event that the Jags finish 9-7, too - the Titans have a better divisional record, and that would render Jacksonville's head-to-head win over the Steelers moot.
Tennessee.
Washington Redskins @ St. Louis Rams (-1.5), 1 p.m.
Uh. Go Marc Bulger!
St. Louis.
Arizona Cardinals @ San Francisco 49ers (-3.5), 4 p.m.
This is hard because I like rooting for the Larry Factor, but there's an off chance that the Steelers may need the 49ers to knock off the Broncos next Sunday at Invesco, and I have to say I like the chances of that happening much more of the 49ers are still in the playoff hunt and playing a win-or-go-home game.
San Francisco.
Cincinnati Bengals @ Denver Broncos (-3.5), 4:15 p.m.
This game is pretty huge in terms of affecting the Steelers. Hopefully, it'll still matter by the time this one gets kicked off, but if it does, at least the Steelers won't be eliminated solely based on what happens in this game. That said, if the Bengals win, there'd be no Steelers could surpass them, whereas if the Broncos win, they could still finish 9-7 and if the Chiefs finish 9-7, the Steelers would advance out of the three because of the aforementioned division-first tiebreaking rules. Let's go, Broncos, and knock Carson Palmer around while you're at it.
Denver.
San Diego Chargers @ Seattle Seahawks (+3.5), 4:15 p.m.
It's pretty fucking stupid that Shawne Merriman is going to the Pro Bowl and I haven't seen a single national media guy complain about the fact that he was caught, y'know, CHEATING like three months ago. In baseball, most of the guys who get dragged over the coals for performance enhancing drugs haven't even actually been proven to be cheating, as obvious as it may be and yet there's a huge deal made every time someone says Mark McGwire's name. All cheating is wrong, regardless of what sport, and Shawne Merriman should be under the same scrutiny as Barry Bonds, especially since he actually tested positive for steroids. That little rant over with, I'd just as soon see Seattle lose since it would give the 49ers even more hope and maybe would cause them to play just that much harder against the Broncos in week 17.
San Diego.
Philadelphia Eagles @ Dallas Cowboys (-6.5), 5 p.m., Monday
This should be a really fun one to watch, especially since it is one of the few games that has no bearing whatsoever on the Steelers' playoff hopes. I'm going with the Eagles, mainly because no one likes the Cowboys and no one likes Terrell Owens, and I want the rampant Tony Romo manlove to go away.
Philadelphia.
New York Jets @ Miami Dolphins (-2.5), 8:30 p.m., Monday
This game, if any, is probably the biggest one of the weekend for the Steelers. The Jets could conceivably win out, but so much else would have to go right for the Steelers to make it if that happens. If the Jets split their last two, in Miami and at home against the Raiders, they'd finish 9-7 and would lose a tiebreaker against the Steelers thanks to those pesky common games. Given that the Jets almost certainly won't lose at home to Oakland, if they're going to lose a game it's going to have to be this one.
Miami.
Anthony Smith and the Steelers certainly won't be high-stepping
their way into the playoffs, but with a little luck they could be tiptoeing in.
In the NFC, three teams (Chicago, New Orleans, and Dallas) have clinched playoff spots and four (Washington, Arizona, Tampa Bay, and Detroit) have been eliminated. One more, the Seattle Seahawks, would really have to screw things up to not win the NFC West and Minnesota would require an inordinate amount of help to squeak in at 7-9 (which would be hilarious).
The AFC is every bit as much of a clusterfuck as its weaker counterpart, with three teams having clinched divisions (San Diego, Indianapolis, Baltimore), a fourth firmly in the driver's seat (New England), and four teams completely out of it (Miami, Houston, Cleveland, and Oakland).
With just two weeks left in the season, that's fifteen teams whose playoff hopes are still completely up in the air. This, folks, is what the NFL means by parity. One of those teams is my Steelers, who at 7-7 currently face two must-win games of their own, plus require any number of scenarios involving other teams winning and/or losing in order to sneak into January. It's a little more nerve-wracking than I would have preferred, but it makes doing weekly picks so much easier - I'm able to make picks strictly on how the outcome of the game affects the Steelers' chances.
Let's begin. Once again, these picks are all against the spread.
Minnesota Vikings 7 @ Green Bay Packers 9 (-3.5), 8 p.m., Thursday
I missed the boat on this one, but on Pigskin I actually did pick the Vikings to both cover and win. Since the pool I'm in only counts record versus the spread, I started off the weekend 1-0. Not that this game matters at all. Minnesota could still make the playoffs if they beat the Rams next week and a bunch of other teams lose, mainly because their conference record is still 6-5. A sub-.500 team in the playoffs would be mind-blowing.
Vikings.
Kansas City Chiefs @ Oakland Raiders (+3.5), 8 p.m., Saturday
The Chiefs only get three and a half against the Raiders? Yikes. Impact on the Steelers: It's actually very good if the Chiefs win out because the Steelers own a head-to-head tiebreaker against them, and if both K.C. and Denver finish 9-7, the Chiefs would do us the favor of knocking Denver out based on a better division record because in any case where more than two teams are tied, division ties are always broken first. The NFL tiebreaker rules are great in that regard.
Kansas City.
Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers (-3.5), 1 p.m.
I'm not entirely sure why the Steelers would be favored in this game, but I'll take them and the points. I originally thought about banking on a three-point win for the Steelers and thus picking Baltimore, but that's just so full of bad karma and I didn't feel like toying with fate. I don't have a good feeling about this game at all, but I do think if the offense just goes to max protect and gets some screen passes and little dumps over the middle to Heath Miller going, picking up 5-7 yards on first and second down, getting into managable third down situations, then they'll have a chance. Baltimore's offense did nothing remarkable in the first game, but you're going to score points if your defense only lets the other team have the ball for like 12 minutes. The Steelers need to avoid falling into that trap again.
Pittsburgh.
Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons (-6.5), 1 p.m.
I don't really care who wins this game, but the Panthers have looked so woeful recently and Jake Delhomme is still out, leaving the game (and the Panthers' playoff hopes) in the hands of Chris Weinke and his 16-game losing streak. I gotta take the Falcons, who, by winning, would set up a neat showdown in Week 17 in Philadelphia.
Atlanta.
Chicago Bears @ Detroit Lions (+4.5), 1 p.m.
Another unusually small spread, but that's probably just because Chicago's already clinched everything possible. Doesn't matter, I think I'd take the Bears practice squad over the Lions at this point.
Chicago.
Indianapolis Colts @ Houston Texans (+9.5), 1 p.m.
The Colts get a huge boost in their quest for home field advantage and/or a first-round bye against the Texans, who have never beaten Indy in the existence of the franchise. The Colts deserve a break, though, for knocking off the Bengals for us last Monday night.
Indianapolis.
New England Patriots @ Jacksonville Jaguars (-2.5), 1 p.m.
This is where it gets good. This is one of the most pivotal games in the last two weeks for the Steelers, as pretty much the only thing that can't happen in the AFC is the Jaguars to win out. The Pats' rag-tag secondary in which Chad Scott plays safety against David Garrard coming off one of the best Tommy Maddox impressions we've ever seen, losing to the Titans almost single-handedly by throwing four picks, two of which were brought to the house. It's so bizarre having to root for Tom Brady to do well.
New England.
New Orleans Saints @ New York Giants (-2.5), 1 p.m.
It's the first play of the fourth quarter in the 2004 AFC Championship game. Ben Roethlisberger's scattershot throwing has put the Steelers in a pretty big hole (kind of like the whole 2006 season), but he's marched them inside the Patriots 5-yard line with a chance to make it a 7-point game. On third down, Ben throws a perfect fade to Plaxico Burress, who at 6'5" has easily boxed out the 5'11" Randall Gay. All Plex has to do is reach up and catch the ball. Except he realized that there was a defender within ten yards of him and allowed the ball to clank uselessly off his hands before curling into a fetal position in the corner of the end zone. After picking the Giants all year based on the immense amount of talented players on their roster and getting frustrated time and time again, it's occurred to me that I don't even like the Giants. Enough is enough.
New Orleans.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Cleveland Browns (-3.5), 1 p.m.
Is there even any reason this game is being played? Seriously, the teams could just go and have a huge pow-wow at midfield and I doubt anyone would even notice.
Cleveland.
Tennessee Titans @ Buffalo Bills (-4.5), 1 p.m.
Very intriguing. One team will win and keep its playoff hopes alive, and the other will lose and be eliminated. Similar to the Chiefs, the Steelers would own any tiebreaker against the Titans, except it would go all the way down to common games. Thus, having the Titans at 9-7 would be a huge asset in the event that the Jags finish 9-7, too - the Titans have a better divisional record, and that would render Jacksonville's head-to-head win over the Steelers moot.
Tennessee.
Washington Redskins @ St. Louis Rams (-1.5), 1 p.m.
Uh. Go Marc Bulger!
St. Louis.
Arizona Cardinals @ San Francisco 49ers (-3.5), 4 p.m.
This is hard because I like rooting for the Larry Factor, but there's an off chance that the Steelers may need the 49ers to knock off the Broncos next Sunday at Invesco, and I have to say I like the chances of that happening much more of the 49ers are still in the playoff hunt and playing a win-or-go-home game.
San Francisco.
Cincinnati Bengals @ Denver Broncos (-3.5), 4:15 p.m.
This game is pretty huge in terms of affecting the Steelers. Hopefully, it'll still matter by the time this one gets kicked off, but if it does, at least the Steelers won't be eliminated solely based on what happens in this game. That said, if the Bengals win, there'd be no Steelers could surpass them, whereas if the Broncos win, they could still finish 9-7 and if the Chiefs finish 9-7, the Steelers would advance out of the three because of the aforementioned division-first tiebreaking rules. Let's go, Broncos, and knock Carson Palmer around while you're at it.
Denver.
San Diego Chargers @ Seattle Seahawks (+3.5), 4:15 p.m.
It's pretty fucking stupid that Shawne Merriman is going to the Pro Bowl and I haven't seen a single national media guy complain about the fact that he was caught, y'know, CHEATING like three months ago. In baseball, most of the guys who get dragged over the coals for performance enhancing drugs haven't even actually been proven to be cheating, as obvious as it may be and yet there's a huge deal made every time someone says Mark McGwire's name. All cheating is wrong, regardless of what sport, and Shawne Merriman should be under the same scrutiny as Barry Bonds, especially since he actually tested positive for steroids. That little rant over with, I'd just as soon see Seattle lose since it would give the 49ers even more hope and maybe would cause them to play just that much harder against the Broncos in week 17.
San Diego.
Philadelphia Eagles @ Dallas Cowboys (-6.5), 5 p.m., Monday
This should be a really fun one to watch, especially since it is one of the few games that has no bearing whatsoever on the Steelers' playoff hopes. I'm going with the Eagles, mainly because no one likes the Cowboys and no one likes Terrell Owens, and I want the rampant Tony Romo manlove to go away.
Philadelphia.
New York Jets @ Miami Dolphins (-2.5), 8:30 p.m., Monday
This game, if any, is probably the biggest one of the weekend for the Steelers. The Jets could conceivably win out, but so much else would have to go right for the Steelers to make it if that happens. If the Jets split their last two, in Miami and at home against the Raiders, they'd finish 9-7 and would lose a tiebreaker against the Steelers thanks to those pesky common games. Given that the Jets almost certainly won't lose at home to Oakland, if they're going to lose a game it's going to have to be this one.
Miami.
Anthony Smith and the Steelers certainly won't be high-stepping
their way into the playoffs, but with a little luck they could be tiptoeing in.
Monday, November 06, 2006
/season
On December 28, 2003, in the final week of the 2003 NFL regular season, the Steelers traveled to Baltimore for a Sunday night showdown at 6-9, firmly out of playoff contention, while the Ravens had already clinched the AFC North at 9-6. As such, the main focal point of the game was whether or not Jamal Lewis could eclipse Eric Dickerson's single-season rushing record of 2105 yards. Lewis entered the game with 1952 yards on the ground, needing to pick up 153 yards to accomplish the feat.
Bill Cowher, proud man that his is, revolved his entire game plan around preventing Lewis from reaching the mark against his football team. The Ravens, likewise, planned on doing everything they possibly could to surpass Dickerson. The game slogged to overtime, highlighted by three Tommy Maddox interceptions and a fake-punt touchdown pass from punter Josh Miller to then-backup safety Chris Hope. Lewis only managed to net 115 yards despite an additional period of play, and the Steelers ended up dropping the game, 13-10.
That game, just over two years and ten months ago, was the last time I've ever had to watch a meaningless football game. Now, thanks to the worst string of bad karma (or whatever you want to call it) I've ever seen, I'm going to have to suit up and watch meaningless football for the next eight weeks.
Mike Shanahan said sometime in the past week something along the lines of, "How on earth are the Steelers 2-5? That's something I'll never know the answer to."
Wrong, Mike Shanahan. You should be more than familiar with the answer to that question now, after watching the Steelers shred your vaunted defense, the same defense that made the Tom Brady-led Patriots offense look like high schoolers. The Steelers marched up and down the field at will against this defensive unit, to the tune of 499 yards. Yes, one yard shy of 500 yards against supposedly the best defense in the AFC.
How does a team lose despite outgaining a team 500-330 and owning a 9-minute advantage in time of possession? The same way the Steelers have lost games all season despite handily winning the statistical battles; turnovers, turnovers, turnovers. And like the other losses, it hasn't been simply the amount of giveaways, but the timing and location. Yesterday was a microcosm of why the Steelers haven't been able to win this season; the Steelers turned the ball over four times inside Denver's 10-yard line. That's a minimum of 12 points needlessly erased in a game the Steelers lost by 11.
A summary of the Steelers' season can even be fractalized to one individual play yesterday. Down 31-20, the Steelers got the ball back with just under 5 minutes left in the game. Ben Roethlisberger, who made about six really poor throws yesterday but was absolutely brilliant the rest of the time, engineered a drive that got the Steelers, once again, inside Denver's ten-yard line. The two-minute warning stopped the clock, and on the first snap after play resumed, Roethlisberger hit Hines Ward on a slant at about the five. Ward, in typical Hines Ward fashion, was determined to get inside the end zone at any cost. Running towards the goal line, he saw John Lynch coming low at him. The only way to break the plane would be to go over the top of Lynch, which Ward tried to do. Unfortunately, he didn't see Al Wilson come high from the opposite side, his helmet jarring the ball loose about half a foot shy of the goal line.
And that was the Steelers season, neatly packaged in one play.
All I can ask for the rest of the season is that we please, please sweep the remaining five divisional games. As long as the Bengals, Ravens, and Browns, are kept in their place, I can extract some form of grotesque satisfaction from this horrid season.
And at the very least, I have this to warm my heart:
Bill Cowher, proud man that his is, revolved his entire game plan around preventing Lewis from reaching the mark against his football team. The Ravens, likewise, planned on doing everything they possibly could to surpass Dickerson. The game slogged to overtime, highlighted by three Tommy Maddox interceptions and a fake-punt touchdown pass from punter Josh Miller to then-backup safety Chris Hope. Lewis only managed to net 115 yards despite an additional period of play, and the Steelers ended up dropping the game, 13-10.
That game, just over two years and ten months ago, was the last time I've ever had to watch a meaningless football game. Now, thanks to the worst string of bad karma (or whatever you want to call it) I've ever seen, I'm going to have to suit up and watch meaningless football for the next eight weeks.
Mike Shanahan said sometime in the past week something along the lines of, "How on earth are the Steelers 2-5? That's something I'll never know the answer to."
Wrong, Mike Shanahan. You should be more than familiar with the answer to that question now, after watching the Steelers shred your vaunted defense, the same defense that made the Tom Brady-led Patriots offense look like high schoolers. The Steelers marched up and down the field at will against this defensive unit, to the tune of 499 yards. Yes, one yard shy of 500 yards against supposedly the best defense in the AFC.
How does a team lose despite outgaining a team 500-330 and owning a 9-minute advantage in time of possession? The same way the Steelers have lost games all season despite handily winning the statistical battles; turnovers, turnovers, turnovers. And like the other losses, it hasn't been simply the amount of giveaways, but the timing and location. Yesterday was a microcosm of why the Steelers haven't been able to win this season; the Steelers turned the ball over four times inside Denver's 10-yard line. That's a minimum of 12 points needlessly erased in a game the Steelers lost by 11.
A summary of the Steelers' season can even be fractalized to one individual play yesterday. Down 31-20, the Steelers got the ball back with just under 5 minutes left in the game. Ben Roethlisberger, who made about six really poor throws yesterday but was absolutely brilliant the rest of the time, engineered a drive that got the Steelers, once again, inside Denver's ten-yard line. The two-minute warning stopped the clock, and on the first snap after play resumed, Roethlisberger hit Hines Ward on a slant at about the five. Ward, in typical Hines Ward fashion, was determined to get inside the end zone at any cost. Running towards the goal line, he saw John Lynch coming low at him. The only way to break the plane would be to go over the top of Lynch, which Ward tried to do. Unfortunately, he didn't see Al Wilson come high from the opposite side, his helmet jarring the ball loose about half a foot shy of the goal line.
And that was the Steelers season, neatly packaged in one play.
All I can ask for the rest of the season is that we please, please sweep the remaining five divisional games. As long as the Bengals, Ravens, and Browns, are kept in their place, I can extract some form of grotesque satisfaction from this horrid season.
And at the very least, I have this to warm my heart:
Sunday, October 29, 2006
I give up
I'm at a loss for words. The only possible thing I can say is that, very simply, if you outgain a team 360-98 and lose, God just does not want you to win.
It sucks because to everyone who doesn't actually pay attention to football (the vast majority of football fans, especially here in New England), it'll just look like the Steelers sucked. When in reality, in three of the five losses, the Steelers were the clearly the better team for 90% of the game but coughed it up in spectacular fashion each time. Not to make excuses, but the Steelers should in all fairness be at least 5-2 right now. Sour grapes, I suppose, but there's no denying it's excruciatingly frustrating.
I'm still holding onto the delusional glimmer of hope for a 13-game win streak. Wackier things have happened in football, and with the team's crop of talent, it wouldn't be that huge of a shock. It's going to be really hard, and it almost definitely won't happen, but with the Pirates being the Pirates, Spurs unable to finish to save their lives, the virtual end of a meaningful season for Pitt football, things are really glum in my world of sports. I've even got a bad feeling about Pitt basketball. I don't like that they're ranked #5 before the season even starts because I'm trapped into believing Pitt is just going to do the same thing every season for the rest of my life, which is hang around somewhere in the top 25, do well in the Big East tournament, and fail to make it beyond the Sweet 16 in the NCAA tourney.
I need something to be positive about, and since the Steelers are usually the least disappointing of all the teams I support, they're always the one I'm most likely to think optimistically about.
As a semi-relevant aside, I'm beginning to become a hockey fan. A friend of mine from Buffalo is a huge Sabres fan and he bought NHL Center Ice so he can watch all the games. Through watching games with him, I've started to understand/enjoy the sport much more, and I've been following the Penguins with much greater interest than usual. They're off to a pretty nice start, but even with them I can't help thinking as soon as I throw all of my weight behind them they're going to shit the bed.
It sucks because to everyone who doesn't actually pay attention to football (the vast majority of football fans, especially here in New England), it'll just look like the Steelers sucked. When in reality, in three of the five losses, the Steelers were the clearly the better team for 90% of the game but coughed it up in spectacular fashion each time. Not to make excuses, but the Steelers should in all fairness be at least 5-2 right now. Sour grapes, I suppose, but there's no denying it's excruciatingly frustrating.
I'm still holding onto the delusional glimmer of hope for a 13-game win streak. Wackier things have happened in football, and with the team's crop of talent, it wouldn't be that huge of a shock. It's going to be really hard, and it almost definitely won't happen, but with the Pirates being the Pirates, Spurs unable to finish to save their lives, the virtual end of a meaningful season for Pitt football, things are really glum in my world of sports. I've even got a bad feeling about Pitt basketball. I don't like that they're ranked #5 before the season even starts because I'm trapped into believing Pitt is just going to do the same thing every season for the rest of my life, which is hang around somewhere in the top 25, do well in the Big East tournament, and fail to make it beyond the Sweet 16 in the NCAA tourney.
I need something to be positive about, and since the Steelers are usually the least disappointing of all the teams I support, they're always the one I'm most likely to think optimistically about.
As a semi-relevant aside, I'm beginning to become a hockey fan. A friend of mine from Buffalo is a huge Sabres fan and he bought NHL Center Ice so he can watch all the games. Through watching games with him, I've started to understand/enjoy the sport much more, and I've been following the Penguins with much greater interest than usual. They're off to a pretty nice start, but even with them I can't help thinking as soon as I throw all of my weight behind them they're going to shit the bed.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Commiseration II
The price I pay for daring to flaunt my colors in Boston is the inevitable, incessant posing of the question, "What's wrong with your team, kid?"
At least, after today, I've finally come up with a concise, reasonable assessment of what exactly is wrong with the Steelers this season, rather than trying to stumble through explaining to people who aren't well versed in football the intricacies of precisely what's going wrong. Now I just simply respond, "Murphy's Law."
In today's case, Murphy's Law comes under the pseudonym "losing three fumbles inside your own thirty yard line." How else do your quarterbacks throw for a combined 433 yards and 5 touchdowns and you still lose? You put the ball on the ground three times well within your own half.
Yeah, the defense got soft at the wrong times. I apologize on behalf of the entire Steelers organization that we are responsible for the ass-kissing Mike Vick will undoubtedly receive in the media in the upcoming days. But if Santonio Holmes just catches a freaking punt, Ben Roethlisberger doesn't mishandle that snap, things they do 99 times out of 100, we're not even having this conversation.
Then, of course, there are the little things like a receiver lining up in the wrong place during a spike that should have led to a game-winning field goal attempt with time expiring. The few inches that allowed Vick to escape and make conversions on two separate third-down plays during the Falcons drive in overtime. It's just frustrating when your team is as talented as the Steelers (and please don't even attempt to argue that the Steelers don't have at the very least a playoff level of talent - they're arguably better than they were last year, and they were the champions last year) and you pile up stupid losses.
The Steelers are 2-4, and the next person to read me a eulogy using that as evidence is going to get punched in the mouth. I didn't realize the football schedule had been pared to just six games. Oh, it hasn't? There are ten more? Well, then. I'm not going to give up on the season until the Steelers are mathematically no longer in playoff contention. There's almost no margin for error right now, but it's not like a 9-1 run would be completely unprecedented, and 10-6 might even earn us the sixth seed again, although I would definitely not count on it.
It sounds extremely homeristic to say this, but there is nothing fundamentally wrong with the Steelers. We're outplaying some good teams the vast majority of the game, and then letting a few lapses cost us the win. And that's what's so frustrating about this season.
At least, after today, I've finally come up with a concise, reasonable assessment of what exactly is wrong with the Steelers this season, rather than trying to stumble through explaining to people who aren't well versed in football the intricacies of precisely what's going wrong. Now I just simply respond, "Murphy's Law."
In today's case, Murphy's Law comes under the pseudonym "losing three fumbles inside your own thirty yard line." How else do your quarterbacks throw for a combined 433 yards and 5 touchdowns and you still lose? You put the ball on the ground three times well within your own half.
Yeah, the defense got soft at the wrong times. I apologize on behalf of the entire Steelers organization that we are responsible for the ass-kissing Mike Vick will undoubtedly receive in the media in the upcoming days. But if Santonio Holmes just catches a freaking punt, Ben Roethlisberger doesn't mishandle that snap, things they do 99 times out of 100, we're not even having this conversation.
Then, of course, there are the little things like a receiver lining up in the wrong place during a spike that should have led to a game-winning field goal attempt with time expiring. The few inches that allowed Vick to escape and make conversions on two separate third-down plays during the Falcons drive in overtime. It's just frustrating when your team is as talented as the Steelers (and please don't even attempt to argue that the Steelers don't have at the very least a playoff level of talent - they're arguably better than they were last year, and they were the champions last year) and you pile up stupid losses.
The Steelers are 2-4, and the next person to read me a eulogy using that as evidence is going to get punched in the mouth. I didn't realize the football schedule had been pared to just six games. Oh, it hasn't? There are ten more? Well, then. I'm not going to give up on the season until the Steelers are mathematically no longer in playoff contention. There's almost no margin for error right now, but it's not like a 9-1 run would be completely unprecedented, and 10-6 might even earn us the sixth seed again, although I would definitely not count on it.
It sounds extremely homeristic to say this, but there is nothing fundamentally wrong with the Steelers. We're outplaying some good teams the vast majority of the game, and then letting a few lapses cost us the win. And that's what's so frustrating about this season.
Friday, October 13, 2006
So, who's pushing the panic button?
I'm on six beers and two Rockstar energy drinks right now, and I have class in about seven hours, so bear with me.
Customarily, I stay up just late enough to read the early edition of the Post-Gazette when it becomes available on its website, which is usually about 12:30 a.m. Today is Friday, five days since the Steelers shit the bed in the second half of their game against the San Diego Chargers en route to their third consecutive loss, dropping their record to 1-3. Today also marks the fifth consecutive day in which the Steelers beat writers have employed an "Oh-my-god-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-Steelers" approach to their stories.
Granted, the Steelers most certainly do have several issues that need to be sorted out, primarily Ben Roethlisberger exhibiting the decision-making skills of a drunk teenager at the worst possible times, the offensive line forgetting what the words "pass blocking" mean, and the defense jerking off on every third down and a number greater than five to go.
Today's story focuses on the loss of Joey Porter, who has officially been declared out for Sunday's game against the Chiefs at Heinz Field. Now, I love Peezy to death as much as the next yinzer, but please, let's not pretend he hasn't been anything but totally anonymous since a dominant performance in the season opener five weeks ago. Ordinarily, I'd be shrugging it off, but this actually is becoming a bit of a concern because fifth linebacker James Harrison, who is a fucking demon, is also injured. This leaves the start at right outside linebacker to Arnold Harrison (no relation), whose NFL experience consists nearly entirely of two words: Practice Squad. He was technically on the 53-man roster for the Super Bowl, as well as a couple of games this year, so I suppose that counts for something, although that something certainly isn't the demonstrated ability to eat quarterbacks.
To provide Arnold Harrison with some help, the Steelers dipped into the free agent market and, realizing they haven't had a link to the pre-Kordell era after the retirement of Jerome Bettis, reeled in Chad Brown. Chad Brown last played for the Steelers in 1996, which is so long ago, I don't even really remember it. My one concrete memory involving Chad Brown came some cold winter morning in fourth grade during breakfast at Sacred Heart Elementary School in the Pittsburgh neighborhood of Shadyside (responsible for bestowing Marc Bulger and his, erm, extremely talented sister upon the world).
Joins Wiz Khalifa as the two pseudo-celebrities who have ridden the same school bus as me.
Anyway, this was some Monday morning right after Chad Brown had enjoyed a monster game, something like three sacks and an interception. I don't remember the details because at this point in my life, I had no idea what a 3-4 defense even was. There was a kid a few years younger than me at Sacred Heart named Sheldon who claimed Greg Lloyd was his uncle, and in the middle of an animated discussion about Chad Brown I was having with my peers, this Sheldon felt it was prudent to butt in and inform us that "Uncle Greg would kick Chad Brown's ass." I think we might have tried explaining that Greg Lloyd and Chad Brown were on the same team, but I'm sure if we did, it was lost on him. Greg Lloyd was later accused of shoving a loaded pistol in his son's mouth beacuse he was upset about his son's report card, so I'd tend to believe Sheldon, but that doesn't excuse the utter absurdity of the statement (the charges pressed against Lloyd over the pistol incident resulted in a mistrial. Good Lord, that must have been a fun trial to be in attendance of).
Where am I going with all of this? I guess I'm just trying to convince myself (and everyone else) that the Steelers are going to be just fine. They're just as talented as they were last year, so I'm willing to place the poor start on the inconsistency of Ben and the offensive line, which shouldn't last all season. I'm not the only one who thinks so, either. Bob Trumpy, who did play-by-play for the San Diego game for CBS Radio, said in the booth during the game that he believes the Steelers are a more talented team than the Chargers.
"I'm not sure any offensive linemen for San Diego would make that Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line. Maybe two or three Chargers defensive players would make the Steelers," Trumpy said. While even I think this is a slight exaggeration, if I were to say anything even remotely similar, I'd just be a stupid homer.
To put things in perspective, the Steelers have two very winnable games coming up, at home vs. Kansas City, and on the road in Oakland. Win those, and the team is .500. Five in a row, something that even really mediocre football teams are liable to accomplish, our record is 6-3 and the sluggish start is pretty much forgotten.
Basically, if the team can get to a position where it's 9-5 heading into the final two weeks of the season, a Christmas Eve showdown at home against the Ravens and a New Years Eve bloodbath at Paul Brown Stadium in Cincinnati, our fate will most likely be in our own hands, and I'm confident we can beat both of those teams. The trick is just getting to 9-5, which would require an 8-2 run, and the current team is easily talented enough to do that. Hell, the 2002-2003 Steelers started 1-3, and they rebounded to finish 10-5-1 and came within an Oscar-worthy performance by Joe Nedney of making the AFC Championship game, and this year's version is ten times better than those guys were. I mean, Amos Zeroue was the feature back that year. Enough said.
Obviously, there's a chance I could end up being completely wrong and the Steelers could just melt down and finish 3-13, but the point is, it's dumb to ridicule me for conjecturing about something that's entirely plausible.
Hell, at least starting 1-3 makes the season a lot more exciting. If we were 4-0 or 3-1, coming off a Super Bowl win...well, remember how boring the Patriots were during their "dynasty?"
Customarily, I stay up just late enough to read the early edition of the Post-Gazette when it becomes available on its website, which is usually about 12:30 a.m. Today is Friday, five days since the Steelers shit the bed in the second half of their game against the San Diego Chargers en route to their third consecutive loss, dropping their record to 1-3. Today also marks the fifth consecutive day in which the Steelers beat writers have employed an "Oh-my-god-what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-the-Steelers" approach to their stories.
Granted, the Steelers most certainly do have several issues that need to be sorted out, primarily Ben Roethlisberger exhibiting the decision-making skills of a drunk teenager at the worst possible times, the offensive line forgetting what the words "pass blocking" mean, and the defense jerking off on every third down and a number greater than five to go.
Today's story focuses on the loss of Joey Porter, who has officially been declared out for Sunday's game against the Chiefs at Heinz Field. Now, I love Peezy to death as much as the next yinzer, but please, let's not pretend he hasn't been anything but totally anonymous since a dominant performance in the season opener five weeks ago. Ordinarily, I'd be shrugging it off, but this actually is becoming a bit of a concern because fifth linebacker James Harrison, who is a fucking demon, is also injured. This leaves the start at right outside linebacker to Arnold Harrison (no relation), whose NFL experience consists nearly entirely of two words: Practice Squad. He was technically on the 53-man roster for the Super Bowl, as well as a couple of games this year, so I suppose that counts for something, although that something certainly isn't the demonstrated ability to eat quarterbacks.
To provide Arnold Harrison with some help, the Steelers dipped into the free agent market and, realizing they haven't had a link to the pre-Kordell era after the retirement of Jerome Bettis, reeled in Chad Brown. Chad Brown last played for the Steelers in 1996, which is so long ago, I don't even really remember it. My one concrete memory involving Chad Brown came some cold winter morning in fourth grade during breakfast at Sacred Heart Elementary School in the Pittsburgh neighborhood of Shadyside (responsible for bestowing Marc Bulger and his, erm, extremely talented sister upon the world).
Joins Wiz Khalifa as the two pseudo-celebrities who have ridden the same school bus as me.
Anyway, this was some Monday morning right after Chad Brown had enjoyed a monster game, something like three sacks and an interception. I don't remember the details because at this point in my life, I had no idea what a 3-4 defense even was. There was a kid a few years younger than me at Sacred Heart named Sheldon who claimed Greg Lloyd was his uncle, and in the middle of an animated discussion about Chad Brown I was having with my peers, this Sheldon felt it was prudent to butt in and inform us that "Uncle Greg would kick Chad Brown's ass." I think we might have tried explaining that Greg Lloyd and Chad Brown were on the same team, but I'm sure if we did, it was lost on him. Greg Lloyd was later accused of shoving a loaded pistol in his son's mouth beacuse he was upset about his son's report card, so I'd tend to believe Sheldon, but that doesn't excuse the utter absurdity of the statement (the charges pressed against Lloyd over the pistol incident resulted in a mistrial. Good Lord, that must have been a fun trial to be in attendance of).
Where am I going with all of this? I guess I'm just trying to convince myself (and everyone else) that the Steelers are going to be just fine. They're just as talented as they were last year, so I'm willing to place the poor start on the inconsistency of Ben and the offensive line, which shouldn't last all season. I'm not the only one who thinks so, either. Bob Trumpy, who did play-by-play for the San Diego game for CBS Radio, said in the booth during the game that he believes the Steelers are a more talented team than the Chargers.
"I'm not sure any offensive linemen for San Diego would make that Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line. Maybe two or three Chargers defensive players would make the Steelers," Trumpy said. While even I think this is a slight exaggeration, if I were to say anything even remotely similar, I'd just be a stupid homer.
To put things in perspective, the Steelers have two very winnable games coming up, at home vs. Kansas City, and on the road in Oakland. Win those, and the team is .500. Five in a row, something that even really mediocre football teams are liable to accomplish, our record is 6-3 and the sluggish start is pretty much forgotten.
Basically, if the team can get to a position where it's 9-5 heading into the final two weeks of the season, a Christmas Eve showdown at home against the Ravens and a New Years Eve bloodbath at Paul Brown Stadium in Cincinnati, our fate will most likely be in our own hands, and I'm confident we can beat both of those teams. The trick is just getting to 9-5, which would require an 8-2 run, and the current team is easily talented enough to do that. Hell, the 2002-2003 Steelers started 1-3, and they rebounded to finish 10-5-1 and came within an Oscar-worthy performance by Joe Nedney of making the AFC Championship game, and this year's version is ten times better than those guys were. I mean, Amos Zeroue was the feature back that year. Enough said.
Obviously, there's a chance I could end up being completely wrong and the Steelers could just melt down and finish 3-13, but the point is, it's dumb to ridicule me for conjecturing about something that's entirely plausible.
Hell, at least starting 1-3 makes the season a lot more exciting. If we were 4-0 or 3-1, coming off a Super Bowl win...well, remember how boring the Patriots were during their "dynasty?"
Monday, October 09, 2006
North Shore nightmare
Another winnable game against a quality opponent, another halftime lead that was allowed to slip away. This time, though, I can't exclusively blame the turnovers, although they certainly didn't help at all. In fact, there really isn't an excuse for why we lost this game except for the fact that we were just thoroughly dominated in the second half on both sides of the ball.
In the first half, we were moving the ball pretty much at will after two punts in the first three drives, and the defense was simply choking off everything the Chargers threw at them, namely holding Ladainian Tomlinson to 12 total yards before the break.
In the second half, the Chargers were in Ben Roethlisberger's face every time he had the ball, and the defense did absolutely nothing to prevent the Chargers from marching down the field. They just couldn't get off the field on third downs, something that's bugged the Steelers defense in the past, a problem that was not-so-coincidentally absent during the eight game winning streak the Steelers finished last season on. The epitomy of this was when the Steelers had brought San Diego to 3rd-and-9 on their own 43, still just down by seven with four and a half minutes to play. Phil Rivers somehow was able to scramble fifteen yards for a back-breaking first down to sustain a drive that saw the Chargers convert a field goal to put the game out of reach.
Overall, though, the biggest culprits would have to be the pass-blocking in the offensive line. Ben looked flat-out confused sometimes, and it seems right now like his confidence isn't at its highest. Still, he had a better game than a lot of people are giving him credit for, and given a little more time, he might have been able to make some more plays. He was having quite a respectable game, in fact, up until he really shot himself in the foot with that Brett Favre-esque tossup on a 2nd-and-6 close to midfield with six minutes left in the 4th quarter.
One more thing I was not happy with was the decision of Bill Cowher and his staff to stray so far from the run. Willie Parker only received 14 carries in a game that the Steelers were never losing by more than one score until the final 90 seconds of the game and Najeh Davenport only carried twice. There should never be any reason Ben Roethlisberger throws 30+ passes in such a close game as long as he's playing for the Steelers.
Basically, the Steelers should know what they have to do. Ben has to play much, much smarter. To his credit, he heaped all of the blame on himself, which is a far cry from the reaction we've seen from certain other quarterbacks in this city when they perform poorly, even much more poorly than Ben did last night, like when Tommy Maddox blamed the wind for his bed-shitting affair against Jacksonville last year.
I'm still very adamant that the Steelers are a much better team than their record says they should be, although some doubt is beginning to creep in. I take solace in the fact that the Steelers lost three games in a row at one point last year. Five wins in a row, which this team is more than capable of accomplishing, and the Steelers are 6-3 and people are forgetting this nightmarish start.
I'm just happy the bye is out of the way. Let's get on with the season and turn things around as soon as possible.
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