THIS IS THE WORLD SERIES THAT GETS RESULTS

Ok, I'll apologize for not doing this more often. A combination of school and my laptop going down left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner (recycled Simpsons jokes: the stuff good blogs are made of). Still having a difficult time believing the Cardinals are the World Series Champs, still laughing at the poor AL fans who shoved it in the NL's face all year only to have their champion's pitchers anger the ghost of Fred McGriff.

Anyway, thoughts on who has signed so far:



Matsuzaka goes to the Red Sox, generation of Sox fans with inferiority complex immediately begin wondering how he is "worth" 51 million-Granted, if the Mets had won him I'd have to read about 20 articles about Kaz Matsui; Matsuzaka, in case you haven't been following this blog, is the real deal. I fully expect him to put up a sub 3.5 ERA in Fenway, and at only 26 coming into this year, I'm not really all that surprised by the bid. Finally, the Red Sox get it. They let Pedro Martinez go in 2004 (granted the injuries did pop up this year), so they could sign Matt Clement. When you are a big market club, you are better off overspending for top-tier talent than you are trying to get good deals. Getting good deals doesn't win baseball games, great players win baseball games.


El Duque gets 12 mil/2, Valentin gets 3.8/1 with a vesting option in PA's

I fully expect the Valentin option to not come into play, because the Mets are still making noise about signing another second baseman; Valentin essentially becomes insurance, and when a guy who had a .820 OPS and played terrific defense at second base is your backup plan, I think you're doing a pretty good job. The El Duque contract I'm not as wild about, but I can see how this market would lead to things like El Duque getting 6 mil a year at 41 if Jeff Suppan is going to break the bank. The second year is what bothers me about that more than anything. Also, thanks for getting hurt in September and making Steve Trachsel start 2 postseason games.

(Note: I know that Steve Trachsel would've started in the NLCS anyway. However, with another day to tune up the run machine, it might've been a competitive game. Never underestimate The Run Machine's magic. Don't point the Run Machine at police officers. Please do not marry The Run Machine)

Rays reportedly win Iwamura - The year was 2004, BJ Upton was the best prospect in baseball, getting all sorts of hot press, and looked like the next big thing for the Devil Rays. Upton's fielding, however, wouldn't cooperate at shortstop. Now, he has become just the latest in a long line of US products that have lost to gaining Japanese pres-

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Sorry, where was I? Oh right, Iwamura. Reportedly the Devil Rays have made this move to put him at second base. If this is the case, then I suppose they're going to put Cantu at first and ruin his value to the team (although not his value to the Blogosphere). Iwamura projects about the same as they were saying Johjima would, .292/.348/.446 is nothing to sneeze at. Whither Upton? Expect the Devil Rays to have a short leash on them, but for the Devil Rays, this is the first time they've run into that good problem called "depth". Kudos, Devil Rays. Don't forget to send Melvin Mora my regards as you get those 73 wins you need for fourth place next year.

Mark DeRosa extorts 13 million from the Tribune Company, as with most corporate crimes is not caught - A haiku about Mark DeRosa:
Unconvinced TEX fans
Starting QB at UPenn
Two years too many, Jim

Hendry was off to such a good start too, with the Ramirez (good) and Wood (solid gamble) moves. Fortunately for Cubs fans, the Bears will play deep into January and nobody will realize that any of these moves have happened until 2008.

We could get into the award picks too, but those kind of columns are picked to death every year. Just for the record, I'd take Beltran as NL MVP (defense counts), Jeter in the AL, and have liked most of what the voters have done (asides from narrowly avoiding giving Trevor Hoffman the Cy).

Series Recap: Both series get knotted up

Tigers 3, Cardinals 1 -


Kenny Rogers Kenny Rogers Kenny Rogers Kenny Rogers. Heres a fun fact about today, one of the NFL's best rookies in recent years (Shawne Merriman) got suspended for steroids. Let me go ahead and try to find a column about that. Oh wait, there aren't any. It's not even in the top 5 NFL stories on Yahoo. Kenny Rogers has a smudge of dirt on his hand and all of the sudden reactionary cunts like Dan Wetzel make a huge deal of it. Whoooa it's almost like Gaylord Perry didn't make a career out of that! Anyway, the game. There was no real semblance that this was a game at any point until the ninth inning, when Todd Jones proved that you can suck and still save a three run lead. You can argue about Zumaya and Walker and Rodney being better choices to close, but in a three run game, it doesn't really matter all that much. Teams with a three run lead in the ninth win something like 98% of games.

Fighers 5, Dragons 2

Fuck, I can do this hold on.





FUCK.



Ok, ok.

Ok. The Fighters got a two-run single from Makoto Kaneko in the seventh to take a 3-2 lead and hand forty-one year old Masahiro Yamamoto a loss. Fernando Seguignol added on a two-run home run in the eighth for the final scoreline, and Micheal Nakamura picked up the save. Rookie Tomura Yagi went 6 for the Fighters, allowing just 3 hits and a walk, but two of the hits were solo homers, by Fukudome and Hirokazu Ibata.

Who's your Tiger?

Mine's Curtis Granderson...and I'm not sharing.

Series Recaps: The AL can't hit Braden Looper and Tyrone Woods gets the Bonds treatment

Cardinals 7, Tigers 2

Not much of a chance to point out strategic moves in this game, as the Cardinals handily won the battle of the starters and it was an AL game. I didn't watch any but the last inning of it so I can't comment on the umpiring. I bet the Tigers weren't expecting to lose to Anthony Reyes. It was the first NL World Series win since Game 6 in 2003. All of the sudden, I find myself not rooting against the Cardinals so much. Or at least not caring much if they win. It would rub it in the face of all those AL superiority cunts, and also would make the Mets look better in retrospect even though everyone smart will know that it doesn't matter much.

Dragons 4, Fighters 2

A poor start for my predictions as Kenshin Kawakami overcame early jitters to put up a good effort for he Dragons. Tyrone Woods was walked twice and went 1-2. Alex Ochoa has a chance to become one of very few players to win a World Series and a Japan Series. Bonus points if you find out who the others are with baseball-reference, because I'm sure not that dedicated.

The birth of the "This Time It Counts" theory

Long ago, we thought miserable old Bud Selig was just kidding when he thought of the slogan "This Time It Counts" for the All-Star Game after he "fixed" it. How can you make the All-Star Game "meaningful"? It's an exhibition! And it's not even played in a contenders park most years, it's just given to whoever renovates/builds a new stadium in appeasement.

Well, with the Tigers advancing Sunday, I'd like to bring up some data points from the years since the tied ASG.

2003 All-Star Game: Held at Comiskey. 2005 White Sox: Win World Series.
2004 All-Star Game: Held at Minute Maid. 2005 Astros: Advance to World Series.
2005 All-Star Game: Held at Comerica. 2006 Tigers: Advance (at least) to World Series.

I'd like to congratulate the Pirates in advance on their World Series apperance in 2007/2008, and the Giants on theirs in 2008/2009. This Time It Counts is the precursor to baseball that actually does count, apparently.

Postseason Recap: Leshcart Evets

Tigers 6, Athletics 3

I'll leave the full funeral for this series to Sr. Raymond. Suffice to say, I really doubt it was the best idea to pitch Huston Street for three consecutive innings.

Cardinals 5, Mets 0

Leshcart Evets. Doesn't that sound nice, Steve? Wouldn't you like to say that? Leschart Evets. Leschart Evets.

I have no real analysis for this game. I didn't watch any of it. That is one ugly box score. Lets try to glean positives. 1) The real players in the Mets bullpen got the day off. 2) Steve Trachsel may be injured. 3) Would it really be the National League playoffs if there wasn't a Game 7 that involved Darren Oliver and Jeff Suppan?

The Mets live on, one thing I've noticed about them this year is that they always do better when nobody thinks they've got any chance. Tommorow will involve Oliver Perez, so I suspect that line of thinking will be prevalent. An interesting fact about Oliver Perez is that he's left-handed, which means TLR will probably start Scott Rolen and relegate Scott Spiezio to the bench. An interesting fact about Scott Spiezio is that his beard is made out of dead animal corpses.

Postseason Recap: Fuck. Also, Fuck.

Satanic Fowl 9, Mets 6 - Okay, well. Lets get this out of the way. Willie made a poor move in the seventh leaving Mota in after the first two runners got on. Mota, throughout the postseason, has pitched HORRENDOUSLY in his second inning of work two of three times he has been summoned. Why you would try to go to the well again, I just don't understand. Theres nothing there.

That said, Wagner blew the game. It's going to happen ten percent of the time, it happened here. I'm not going to Benitez this guy, except to say that despite him being a great closer, he has bad games every once in awhile. When the Mets get to the bullpen with a lead, we should be winning 90% of the games. Well, this is the 10%.

Things to be encouraged by: We slapped around Chris Carpenter. We slapped around Carptenter but not Weaver? The difference is in the strike zones. Last night, Tim Welke's strike zone had it's own tax zone, this game, the umpire called it much tighter, but blew a few more calls (which I'll get into). If we can get their best pitcher down, we should be able to whip the rest of them.

Gotta hand it to the Cardinal relievers, they just keep getting clutch outs. The Beltran double play was one of the turning points of the game. They stranded Lo Duca on second with one out as well. These guys will eventually turn south though, they are pitching over their heads in my opinion.

Okay, John Maine. Not a productive outing in any way, shape, or manner. Heres what I saw: First inning was wonderful. Second inning, he had the 2-2 to Edmonds called a ball, and that call got to him and he started trying to be too perfect. At that point, he kept on getting ahead of the hitters, but he would throw junk pitches from 0-2 to 4-2. That killed him. Then after the Edmonds homer, he just gave up any sembelance of command and started throwing ball after ball and hoping they'd put it in play and get out. Not a great approach. He needs to work on his approach with runners on base, and he really does seem shell-shocked out there. Chillax kid.

Also, I have written a haiku about Scott Spiezio:
Who dyes a beard red?
A white trash cunt haunts Mota.
Start Scott Rolen, please.

Detroit 3, Oakland 0
Well if Kenny Rogers is just going to do this every game, we're not going to have much of a World Series. This wasn't a matter of the A's stranding runners; this was a matter of their asses getting REAMED.

I'd ask the A's to emulate the Boston Red Sox, but then their fans would all turn into smug cunts too; theres no need for more smug cunts in this world.

Postseason Recap: A's falter, Weaver good?

Detroit 5, Oakland 1
Detroit 8, Oakland 5

In game one, the A's came out a lot like the Twins did in their first couple of games: fighting and clawing to strand every runner possible. They managed to score one on a groundout, but took the dreaded 0-for with RISP that decided this game. The Tigers got three of their runs on two out RBI's as Barry Zito took his potential FA treasure trove from 15 million a year to 14 million a year.

In game two, the Tigers got a career game from the unlikely Alexis Gomez and started Neifi Perez for some reason as they KO'ed Esteban Loaiza. Oh I know Sean Casey is injured. Theres just still no reason to ever start Neifi Perez. The A's stranded eight more runners and couldn't knock out Nate Robertson.

I had an idea that the Tigers may be doing this by putting low OBP/high SLG guys in the lineup, thinking maybe that they were drawing fewer walks, however, they've drawn the second most among teams remaining. Maybe it's just that since everyone in the lineup other than Polanco is a power threat, pitchers still have to pitch carefully. Wheras good pitchers won't walk hitters like David Eckstein in the postseason.

Mets 2, Satanic Fowl 0

I like Carlos Beltran. He hits homers for the New York Mets.

No really, I saw someone on ESPN this morning (Brantley? I think) talking about how stupid it was for TLR to leave Jeff Weaver in to face him. Jeff Weaver had a one-hit shutout and there were two outs. If Tony had taken him out in that instance, it would've been GROSS incompetence. A bigger problem for the Redbirds is that with the Mets' perceived ability to not be able to hit left-handers, they used Tyler Johnson for 20 pitches and this series is going to play five straight games (or four, I wouldn't complain if there were four). The only other left-hander in their pen is Randy "BERMAN THINKS I AM FUNNY" Flores, who had a 5.8 ERA.

My gut reaction when I saw the Mets rotation being put to the test in five straight games was it was going to hurt the Mets because Randolph wouldn't be able to be as proactive. But what about the Satanic Fowl? They have just two left-handers in their pen. Also, their bullpen is horrendous. I don't care what they've done so far in the postseason, the only real pitcher of any competence is Wainwright.

(No Box Scores Yet)
Nippon Ham Fighers 3, Softbank Hawks 1
Nippon Ham Fighers 1, Softbank Hawks 0

In game one, right-hander Yu Darvish turned out to be too much for the Hawks, as he threw a CG and struck out eleven. Darvish allowed his run in the first on a sacrifice fly after back-to-back hits and a bunt. The Fighters took the lead for good on Tsuyoshi Shinjo's two-out single in the third.

Another gutwrenching loss for Kazumi Saito in Game Two, as he went a CG and only gave up the winning run in the ninth off an infield single to Atsunori Inaba. He had walked the leadoff hitter, Hichori Morimoto, on four pitches. He was bunted over, and then they intentionally walked PL HR King Michihiro Ogasawara to pitch to Fernando Seguignol. Seguignol struck out, but the infield single by Inaba won the game for the Figters. Saito was matched by 22-year-old rookie lefthander Tomoya Yagi, who threw the CG SO for the Fighters to send them to their first Japan Series since 1981.

In other news, Chunichi clinched the CL by taking the Yomiuri Giants 9-3 in 12 innings. Fukudome broke the tie with a bases loaded single and then Tyrone Woods put the game away for good with his second grand slam in two days, and 47th of the year (leading all of Japanese baseball). Ham Fighters-Dragons will meet in the Japan Series, and FC will be previewing it here sometime this coming week.

Being down 2-0 Sucks

It feels real emtpy. Let me make one thing clear, though: We are NOT out of this. But, if we do in fact want to be in this, the Oakland A's absolutely MUST win Games 3 and 4. No bones about it. For that to happen, we need:

1)Rich Harden to pitch up to his talent level. Pretty simple, he either brings it like we've seen him bring it before, or we're left hoping for a 2004 Red Sox like resurgence.

2)Dan Haren steps up big. The man has the stuff, the poise, and the smarts to put in a huge start against the Tigers. Will he? I don't know, but I know he can, and he knows he can, so we've got a fighting chance.

3)Frank Thomas wakes up. In what might have been one of the biggest blue-ball moments in post season history, Thomas left 3 men on base as he popped out tonight as we sat losing by 3. It had the makings of one of those magical, unforgettable, Kirk Gibson baseball moments. It didn't happen, but make no mistake, this man can still hit. If the sleeping giant wakes up, we're in all that better a position.

Finally...

4)The defense shows back up. Play Mark Kiger at second if you must, because D'Angelo Jimenez is a joke. Nick Swisher, you need to smarten up yourself, both at the plate and on the field. Eric Chavez, be the gold glover you are. Tonight you couldve made a play that you had no real business making, that could very well have saved the game early on for us. When you're on your best, you're talented enough defensively to make that play and shift the game. We need that out of you.



Again, it's only 2-0, and I like Harden vs. Rogers, and Haren vs. Bonderman. We are not done by any means just yet.



In the meantime, the Sharks look good so far, at least. And there's always the Warriors coming up. They never let you down. Nice consistent suckery. (Although now that Donnieboy's back, we may actually have a shot there too.)


Again, don't count out these A's just yet. They're a resilient bunch.

I was asked to make a post about the ALCS

So, as an A's fan, what's it feel like being one day away from watching my team play in the deepest playoff game it's played in during my relevant lifetime? (They last played in an ALCS in 1992. I was 5 years old. Suffice it to say, I wasn't quite aware it was going on.)

Honestly, I have no freaking idea.

Let me explain. In light of the debacle that was A's postseason baseball 2000-2003, all I've come to want, to hope for, out of the playoffs is that we'd just get past the first round. Really, that's all I've ever wanted. Now that we've actually done that, I don't know how to take the next step. I'm rather relaxed about this series, when I feel I ought to be tense in ways unimaginable. Maybe if we were playing the hated Yankees instead of the feel-good Tigers. Maybe if they were saying the A's had no chance in this. I dunno. Don't get me wrong. I am, by all humanly measures, as excited as can be to see them playing on such a grand scale. But, where I feel awkward about the whole situation, is that I just don't have that "omigodomigodomigodomigod" tension in me right now. Who knows, maybe by game time it'll come. I've never been in this position before. But, there you have it. I'm excited as hell that we're here, but I'm really not nervous at all for some reason. I just feel too good about this team, this year.


With that in mind, I'm now going to follow up my Reasons Why The A's Can Beat The Twins with a Reasons Why The A's Can Beat The Tigers:

1) The lucky Bill King shirt: I bought this shirt in the wake of longtime A's radio man Bill King's unfortunate death before the season, when they went on sale at athleticsnation.com. Around mid season I finally decided to just start wearing it under my Nick Swisher jersey to every game. I went to 8 games with that shirt on, and the A's went 8-0 in those games. I wore that shirt (under other shirts) again on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. They won on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. This shit's gold.

2) The Tigers will help our pitchers out: Like the Twins before them, Detroit's free swingers will do the job for Zito, Loaiza, Haren, et al. If they're smart, they'll be working the counts and making guys like Zito (especially Zito) work out of tough jams. I have a feeling they'll be too swing happy though against the soft stuff most of our guys throw.

3) Marco Scutaro: Dude's been coming up big this October, and I only expect that to continue. He's one of the few guys on this team you can expect to turn a potentially great situation into a great situation. Frank Thomas also fits this description.

4) Home field advantage: The Oakland Coliseum is a tough place to play for a team like the Tigers. They make a lot of contact, and with all our foul territory, they're likely to find themselves making foul outs at a rate they just aren't used to. Also, center field, butchered by the Raiders, will be much more navigable for someone like Mark Kotsay who's used to it than it will be for young, inexperienced Curtis Granderson or whoever else may be out there. Also, A's fans can bring tha noize.

5) Rich Harden: The unknown quantity. He's had enough rest since his last outing in Anaheim, and if he can make a start and last 6 or 7 healthy innings, it'll be VERY hard to beat us in that game. Also, if he starts Game 3 and we're looking at a Game 6 or 7 in which he doesn't start, he could be an absolute shut down reliever outta the pen for those games as well.

6) Smart baseball: The A's exemplified it in the Twins series, taking the extra base at the right time, playing clean defense, managing well. If they run this efficiently again in the ALCS, the Tigers will have their hands full.




So there you have it. If we come back next week and the Tigers are in the World Series, look for posts by me to abruptly cease. Forever.

Postseason Recap: The Best Day Ever...for bitter Mets fans.

Tigers 8, Yankees 3 - An Tigers-A's ALCS. I'm sure FOX is banging on MLB's door demanding more seven game series as we speak.

Actually, as we speak, the motions have already begun for the fun offseason ride that the Yankees will be on. Joe Torre, according to the NY Daily News, is expected to step aside so that the Yankees can sign Lou Piniella. I love this move for the Yankees- they do need a fire under their ass. I'm a staunch supporter of the theory that there are only 3 types of managers: players managers, hardass managers, and McCarthy/Weaver level managers. When your team needs a change of pace, you are better off changing between players/hardass managers than you are sitting on your hands.

ESPN has also already started it's ARod watch, and since you asked me, I'll tell you about my dream: I would love Alex Rodriguez to join the San Francisco Giants.

Let me explain. Barry Bonds + Alex Rodriguez = Profit. Two of the best players in baseball history, two people that the media can't leave alone. The Giants will be shedding a ton of salary and are looking to move into a new era, the Yankees could ask for maybe Matt Cain/Noah Lowry, Pedro Feliz (I guess? Let me dream here), some salary filler. This would be ESPN's wet dream. They'd buy an entire Econosuite and tell Pedro Gomez to live there and follow the two of them around all day. Reality TV series. Theres just nothing that wouldn't rule about this. Imagine the two of them trying to interact? Bonds doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks of him, ARod cares what everyone thinks of him. This has to happen.

Padres 3, Cardinals 1
OFFENSIVE OUTBURST. Trevor Hoffman finally got to see the field, and the Padres won despite stranding fourteen runners. Good to see the monkey off their backs. Game four is a must-win for the Cardinals in this series. If the Cardinals lose, they'll have seen their ace chased off the field and be looking at Jeff Weaver on three days rest or Jason Marquis for a decisive Game five. Luckily for them, I can't see the Cardinals losing this game. Then again, I couldn't see them dropping 30 games in a row to end the season, and that happened too.

Mets 9, Dodgers 5
I didn't watch the last half of this game, but even despite that, I knew this team would win. They've been head and shoulders above the NL for the whole year, and even despite their rotation being Tom Glavine, John Maine, The Run Machine, and Oliver Perez; they have to be favored over either team they face in the NLCS too, I'd think. Shawn Green played like a man who was pissed off that they traded him away instead of Roberto Alomar, which was a big plus. Randolph was pro-active with the pen again, not letting the lead get away; and as a result, the pen has four days off. Teams that start Marlon Anderson in left field in the postseason are 0-3. Just sayin'.

Expect the recaps for the LCS' to be longer, as there will be less teams to cover. Also, expect someone else to have a blog at some point. Maybe.

Postseason Recap: Five game series are the spawn of the devil

Tigers 4, Yankees 3

Tigers 6, Yankees 0

Funny little thing happened on the way to the Yankees winning the World Series, as they find themselves down 2-1 and sending Jaret Wright to the hill with their playoff lives at stake.

Over at ESPN, we had a bigger split, but the two teams most favored were the Yankees and the Twins. Whoops. I didn't catch most of game two, but I don't think any lineup in the planet was going to put more than six runs in against Kenny Rogers tonight. It's a five game series, and when you play a five game series, these things are bound to happen. Look at these series: Three of the four home teams are losing, and the team that's winning lost two of their best starters and was considered at best a 50/50 proposition against a hot Dodger team. What does that tell us? Nothing matters once you get in a five game series. The sooner MLB figures this out, the sooner we will have the best teams playing deeper into October.

A lot of people are going to point the blame at ARod again for his anemic showing in pinstripes, and you know, rightfully so I guess. But what gets lost up in all his crapulence is that two offseasons ago, the Yankees paid a pretty big price to acquire a stopper for their postseason teams. Randy Johnson has come in, been mediocre in both seasons, and has gotten bombed in two PIVOTAL game threes that have put his team against the wall in back-to-back ALDS'.

Cardinals 2, Padres 0

We have an eighty-three win team here that is one win from the NLCS. And you thought the NL playoffs would lack excitement. The Padres were shutout by Jeff Weaver, which is almost unfathomable. Bruce Bochy really needs to get it through his head that Mike Piazza needs to be starting every game when your team has scored one run in two games.

The deeper question here is: Why didn't anyone else see this coming? Obviously the Cardinals swooned and the Padres were hot, a key factor for people predicting the postseason (This is why the A's were so good in the postseason in 01-03...wait a minute). But, we were really ready to say that a team that starts Geoff Blum at shortstop and Russ Branyan at third base is going to the NLCS? Really? If I were a Cardinals batter I would just slap the ball to that side and hope for the best. It would work most of the time.

Also: Adventures in playoff Bullpen Management.
Scott Linebrink and Trevor Hoffman: one-third of an inning in two games. How does this guy have his job still? I understand it's San Diego and all the owners are too busy living it up in that beautiful city to give a shit, but Bochy has completely fallen asleep at the wheel and cost his team a chance to win at least Game 1 and arguably Game 2 as well.

Mets 4, Dodgers 1

Remember when I told you guys that I hoped Endy Chavez started? Well, that was everything I expected. Not only is he one of the few sparkplugs against left-handers for the Mets, but he actually has the speed and defense to play right-field. Instead of say, Mr. Shawn Green, who has checked out like Roberto Alomar did, minus the head first dives into first base on every play.

This game made me happy. Although we did have to deal with Steve Lyons and Thom Brennaman, who seem to get worse every season. The Mets can't hit lefties blah blah blah. Would it be that hard to give everyone else a chance? This isn't the 1970's anymore. Also, FOX's game presentation continues to be despicable in every imaginable way. Focusing on Chevy billboard ads, zoom ins on every goddamn face, finding every stupid fucking e-list celebrity who ever came to the game (WHOA THERES MATT DILLON! MARY JO HART GOES TO DODGERS GAMES!). I think despite the disparity between every baseball fan's situation, we can put all that aside so we can focus on the worst moment for all of baseball this season: When FOX kept the playoff rights for 7 more years.

A's 8, Twins 3

I'd like to congratulate Jon Raymond on his teams triumphant return to winning postseason series. Since I have nothing to add to this game besides my love of ex-Met Marco Scutaro, I'd like to take on something else here.

Tommy Lasorda commercials. I know it's an obvious (and failing) ploy to get fans of baseball to watch games that don't involve their teams, but I don't think it's doing it for me. Heres what they should've done: Everyone who is a real baseball fan gets sick of this commercial anyway, so instead of airing the commercial normally, have Tommy be featured in every other commercial, then switch the tapes to keep people wondering when they'd see Lasorda again.

Come on, like you wouldn't want to see the dialogue Tommy would have with the Ruby Tuesday's guys. Or John Cougar Mellencamp. Or that chick who gets pissy about them frying green beans. It would be clever, unexpected, and would make people want to watch commercials. Thats exactly why it will never happen.

5 Reasons Drew Henson (ME) hates the Tigers

Hello world,

I have found some downtime from my busy 4th string QB duties to talk about me some more... This week, I'm discussing why the Tigers (who are playing my Yankees!) are all faggots... HERE I GO

1) I'm from Michigan, I know that no one roots for the Tigers... the Lions are king here... and Lions are essentially Tigers and I play for the Vikings who eat them both... so that explains that. Got me?

2) Kenny Rogers. I mean, come on... how washed up is this fucker? I mean, in 1994 he was a GOD. First, "Timepieces-Orchestral Sessions With David Foster" came out and then a perfect game... but how far have you stooped now MR. ROGERS? "42 ULTIMATE HITS" then "42 WAYS TO THROW A CAMERA"... I mean, come on? Who the hell wants to be your neighbor anyways?

3) Little Ceasar's Pizza... a couple Buds, a Texans party, a Little Ceasars Bigfoot pizza, enough said.

4) Todd Jones... he hates gay people. I happen to like gay people... well, I mean not like like, but I like them... you know, like I don't want people to think I'm gay like Mike Piazza, b/c this one time in New York... I saw Mike... well I'll tell you later... ask Tony Boselli, he was there, how you think he got hurt?

5) This logo... ... I mean what the fuck are they promoting, CRACK? Well, a certain Quincy Carter once told me to stay away from crack, but Chad Hutchison said it was cool... you know like greenies. So I tried some, and all I remember is some crazy Thanksgiving... I think I was playing football and some dude called Vito... Villie?... OH Vinnie kept telling me what to do... it was kinda fucked up... they say I won, but why the hell was I in NFL Europe if I won a fucking game? Yeah, that's what I thought... can't trust those dudes named Vinny.

I had 10 reasons, but Chester Taylor just called and said they we're gonna go meet some strippers on a boat. I screamed SEX BOAT real loud, but he kinda seemed offended so I dunno. Maybe we can get Matt Birk to come too... he went to Harvard. So root for my MICHIGAN boy Derek and the Yankees, K?

Yours in God,

Drew

Postseason Recap: Managers clueless as to when to pull their starters

Yesterday in the opening day of the postseason, we had not one, but two dreadful managing moves that arguably cost teams the chance to get back into games:

Cardinals 5 @ Padres 1

In the fifth inning, with it being a 4-0 game already, Padres manager Bruce Bochy intended to pinch-hit Ryan Klesko in for Jake Peavy, but instead the Padres went to the bench 1-2-3. Instead of double-switching in Todd Walker (who he left in after pinch-hitting in the next inning) anyway, he left Peavy out there to give up another run, which ran the game to 5-0, an almost insurmountable deficit. Had he gone to his bullpen after the fifth, remembering that he had a day off tommorow so there was no need to hold anyone back (not that this didn't work out for him, but I'm just saying), he probably could have gotten zeros or thereabouts for the game. If the game was only 4-1 instead of 5-1, he probably wouldn't have pinch-hit with Mark Bellhorn in the one opportunity they really had to get back into the game, as he would've only needed a single to take it to a one-run game instead of an extra-base hit. Once you get into that scenario, who knows what could happen?

Tigers 4 @ 8 Yankees

After scoring three to get back into this game in the top of the fifth, Tigers skipper Jim Leyland (inexplicably reminding me of war vet dad of Mike Cooper) decided to leave Nate Robertson out there for not one extra inning, but two. This after he had already been shelled for five runs in the third. I understand that the Yankees lineup is good enough to score on any pitcher, but giving them a third or fourth crack at Robertson after they had already solved him is inexcusable. Let Jason Grilli get his chance, let Rodney and Ledezma go a few if you have to. There was no reason to let Robertson give up those extra two runs that buried the Tigers under a huge lead again.

I was also pleased to learn that Chien-Ming Wang is a fan of pasta.

We'll be right back, here on the FOX Future Considerations baseball entertainment fun hour, now featuring actual baseball!



WHAT IF A COMEDIAN RAN FOR PRESIDENT?

What if he won?


WAH WAH WAH CAN I MAKE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN MY SECRETARY OF STATE HAHA JUST A TEEEENY JOKE THERE KIDS


WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?

Buck: Oops looks like we missed the actual first pitch of the at-bat and they threw over to first and the ball got away, haha. But at least you got to see that commercial where Chevy said that it was American because they helped haul wood to New Orleans after Katrina. Doesn't that make you want a nice heavy duty car regardless of the fact that it's mad overpriced and not as good as Japanese cars? Haha. It should! Also, buy Budweiser because people like to rub my neck.

McCarver: I KNOW I SURE DO JOE DO YOU WANT TO HELP ME PLAY LEGOS

Athletics 3 @ Twins 2

The game relegated to the noon slot so that FOX could continue it's ongoing YES mk. II transformation was the best of the day, with Johan Santana and Barry Zito (assist to free-swinging Twins) turned in an amazing pitcher's duel that was tense into the very last inning. A lot of people questioned Gardenhire's decision to bring in Crain instead of Nathan or Neshek, and had they done that, we might still be playing baseball right now with how deep the A's and Twins bullpens go. The bigger blunder (shockingly leading to me agree with Joe Morgan), was letting Castillo attempt to steal that bag in the first when Zito was having command problems.

Tune back in tommorow, when I will rant about how stupid people are to think that the Mets are done in the NL without Pedro. Or, alternately, where I rip into people on our team for not hitting Derek Lowe. Either way, it should be fun.

Baseball around the World, 9/31/06

MLB

Two new pennant winners guaranteed as Astros hand division crown to 83-78 Cardinals - Perhaps Roger Clemens should have started on one days rest. EVERYONE KNOWS HE'S ON THE ROIDS AFTER ALL.

Tigers roll over, hand division to Twins, 1st pick to Devil Rays - There may be a day when a team gets back-to-back #1 overall picks, but not this year. A squad that consisted of David DeJesus batting third and Emil Brown hitting cleanup dropped four on Fernando Rodney in the eight and two on Kenny Rogers in the twelfth to allow the Royals to finish at exactly 100 losses.

Padres win division crown, set playoff date with St. Louis for second consecutive year - Brandon Webb was lit up for seven runs in four innings as the Padres took home the NL West crown for a second consecutive year, both with under 90 wins. Trevor Hoffman tried really hard to blow it by allowing 2 homers in the ninth, but with the aid of a questionable call at second, got his 46th save.

Playoff Matchups:
AL
Tigers @ Yankees G1 Tuesday 8 ET
Athletics @ Twins G1 Tuesday 1 ET

NL
Dodgers @ Mets G1 Wednesday 4 ET
Cardinals @ Padres G1 Tuesday 4 ET

Nippon Central League

Chunichi @ Hanshin - After a 7-1 win to bring the Chunichi Dragons lead back to 3 games yesterday, today's game was rained out. The Dragons magic number is 7.

Yakult 9, Yokohama 4 - Takumi Nasuno (3-8) got blown up, allowing the Swallows to romp to an easy win. The lone homer in the contest was by veteran SS Noriykui Shiroishi, it was his 21st career in over 10 seasons.

Hiroshima 3, Yomiuri 0 - A group effort by Hiroshimas pen after a spot start by Saitou (1-0), four other relivers combined on the six hit shutout. Yomiuri's promising young Chiang (3-2) went 8, allowing only 1 earned run, to take the loss. WBC Hero S Y Lee was held to a 1-4 by the Carp, dropping him to a tie for second in the batting race at .319 (well, it's not much of a race, Fukudome is batting .357).

Dutch Series

Pioneers scored one in the first, but Kinheim has turned this game into a laugher with two innings to play by dropping four in the second and six more in the third. Roger Kops is sure to take the loss after allowing six runs in two plus innings. Check it out live here.

Update: Despite lack of scoreboard updates, Kinheim has won the game 13-5 and are the Dutch League Champions. Congratulations, Dirk Van't Klooster!