Monday, October 02, 2006

Life Imitates Art: Andre Gurode = Mike Winchell

If you know me at all, you know that my favorite movie of all time is the incredible Friday Night Lights. The acting, the score, the look and feel of the scenes, and the way the movie makes you feel the passion of Texas high school football all combine to pretty much kick you in the face with awesomeness for a couple hours. Watching the film a couple weeks ago with some friends, a scene everyone was taken aback by was during the Dallas-Carter title game. At the end of the play, pandemonium ensues, with both coaches and all the referees going batshit insane. In the midst of all that, heroic Permian (the team being documented in the film, if you're unfamiliar with it) QB Mike Winchell is on the ground after taking a big hit on the play, and his helmet is off. A Carter player walks by and kicks Winchell's own helmet right into his mouth. Everyone watching the film made a visible squirm, because, well, the act was reprehensible, disgusting, and painful to watch. At the time, we all felt that the scene was one of the least accurate football images in the film: Until now!

That photo is at a pretty poor angle, but it's clear that the image is of Titans' defensive tackle Albert Haynsworth stomping on the face of Cowboys' center Andre Gurode. Let me say again what happened: HE STOMPED ON THIS FACE! WITH HIS CLEAT! Are you kidding me? He didn't think anyone would see this? Unlike Mike Winchell, whose helmet was already off when it was purposely drilled into his jaw, Gurode's helmet remained on for the entireny of the play. Haynesworth took it upon himself to kick Gurode's helmet off (which, strapped on tightly I'm sure, likely caused quite a bit of pain by itself), and THEN STOMPING ON HIS FACE WITH HIS CLEAT! Had Haynesworth just knocked the helmet off, without condoning being an enormous jerk, you can at least file it under the heat of the moment. Of course he'd still be penalized/fined/suspended for that, but it's one act without thinking. But when you tear his helmet off with your foot, pause, and THEN STOMP ON HIS FACE WITH YOUR CLEAT, you're done. Go home. Fat Albert should be sat down without pay for the rest of the year. Unfortunately the NFLPA will allow Albert to be paid in full (minus his hefty fine) while he's sitting out, but he should still be on the shelf all year.


Dan said...

Actually, he isn't getting paid for the duration of his suspension.

Shane said...

i know. but if he were suspended all year, there likely would have been shitloads of appeals, and he probably would have gotten some sort of settlement.

ps we dont need you editting our submissions, dick