Thursday, October 05, 2006

5 Reasons Drew Henson (ME) hates the Tigers

Hello world,

I have found some downtime from my busy 4th string QB duties to talk about me some more... This week, I'm discussing why the Tigers (who are playing my Yankees!) are all faggots... HERE I GO

1) I'm from Michigan, I know that no one roots for the Tigers... the Lions are king here... and Lions are essentially Tigers and I play for the Vikings who eat them both... so that explains that. Got me?

2) Kenny Rogers. I mean, come on... how washed up is this fucker? I mean, in 1994 he was a GOD. First, "Timepieces-Orchestral Sessions With David Foster" came out and then a perfect game... but how far have you stooped now MR. ROGERS? "42 ULTIMATE HITS" then "42 WAYS TO THROW A CAMERA"... I mean, come on? Who the hell wants to be your neighbor anyways?

3) Little Ceasar's Pizza... a couple Buds, a Texans party, a Little Ceasars Bigfoot pizza, enough said.

4) Todd Jones... he hates gay people. I happen to like gay people... well, I mean not like like, but I like them... you know, like I don't want people to think I'm gay like Mike Piazza, b/c this one time in New York... I saw Mike... well I'll tell you later... ask Tony Boselli, he was there, how you think he got hurt?

5) This logo... ... I mean what the fuck are they promoting, CRACK? Well, a certain Quincy Carter once told me to stay away from crack, but Chad Hutchison said it was cool... you know like greenies. So I tried some, and all I remember is some crazy Thanksgiving... I think I was playing football and some dude called Vito... Villie?... OH Vinnie kept telling me what to do... it was kinda fucked up... they say I won, but why the hell was I in NFL Europe if I won a fucking game? Yeah, that's what I thought... can't trust those dudes named Vinny.

I had 10 reasons, but Chester Taylor just called and said they we're gonna go meet some strippers on a boat. I screamed SEX BOAT real loud, but he kinda seemed offended so I dunno. Maybe we can get Matt Birk to come too... he went to Harvard. So root for my MICHIGAN boy Derek and the Yankees, K?

Yours in God,



Dan said...

thank god this guy is still on the blog

Shane said...

did anyone laugh at this? at any point?