Tottenham Hotspur will never make the Champions League

It's pretty well established that the MLS is regarded in soccer circles around the world as something of a joke. As noble as the intent is, trying to popularize soccer in a place where it's drastically overshadowed by four other sports, those silly Americans still just don't know what they're doing.

The main point of contention from critics abroad seems to stem from the fact that most people in Europe can't get their heads around the playoff system. The arguement is that the playoffs are too much of a crapshoot, essentially rendering the regular season mostly meaningless. The way they see it, the clubs spend six months battling just to get into a virtually separate competition that lasts only a few weeks at the most. The team that has the best overall performance over the course of a full season isn't rewarded unless they win their games in November, when the MLS playoffs take place. This doesn't make sense, to them.

After following Tottenham Hotspur for five years, and most recently, watching their heartbreaking 3-1, extra-time defeat to Arsenal in the League Cup semifinal and their humiliating 4-0 drubbing at home at the hands of Manchester United, I am finally fully realizing the value of a playoff system.

When I first got into Spurs, it was because they were a middle of the table team at the time amidst a long run of mediocrity, but a team that research showed had been at the top before, and was one of the few strugglers to possess the resources to ever have a chance of getting there again. Or so I thought.

During the first few years of my Spurs fandom, the excuses were mismanagement and no clear plan. Then, Martin Jol took over, and rapid, tangible improvement could be seen. Young English players were brought into the squad and began to flourish. Last season, when Spurs spent November through April in the 4th spot in the EPL table - the last qualifying spot for the highly coveted and hallowed UEFA Champions League - the optimism knew no bounds. Even though Spurs lost out on 4th place on the very last matchday of the season, everyone was eager to proclaim that the club was right around the corner from being regular contenders in Europe.

As this season has unfolded, however, it's become more and more clear that Spurs, no matter what they do, short of a takeover by a foreign billionaire, will never ever be able to crack the top four. Spurs are talented, sure, but only just talented enough to compete with the "big four" of Man Utd, Chelsea, Arsenal, and Liverpool on their day. Over the course of a full season, they simply aren't talented enough to show the type of consistency that any of the "big four" are able to show. And let's face it: no one is.

Soccer in England has gotten to the point where the "big four" have such a monopoly that all the rest of the teams can do is pray for a miracle. And even then, there's not much short of a plane crash that would do much to knock one of those front-running teams off its stride enough to create an opening in the Champions League. A key injury? No such thing, given the absurd depth of quality the drawing power and deep wallets of those teams are able to attract. They're all at least two or three quality players deep at every position.

It's a depressing point of view, but it's the truth. While the rest of the minnows beat up on each other, the "big four" will continue to cement the Champions League as an exclusive club that only they are permitted to take part in. Occasionally, another team will make a run at glory, like Spurs last year or Bolton this year, but in the end, the sheer depth and talent of those four clubs will shine through.

So what do those other clubs have to hope for? Well, not much. In soccer, success is measured solely by trophies won. With the Premiership title simply not an option and the Champions League almost completely out of the question, that leaves the domestic cups and the UEFA Cup. It's even difficult for the non-"big four" clubs to take home a domestic cup, though. Last year, the League Cup went to Manchester United and the FA Cup went to Liverpool. This season, Chelsea and Arsenal are squaring off in the League Cup final. A respectable run is all the rest of the clubs can hope for, and just reaching the quarterfinals or semifinals is no consolation to any of them.

That leaves the UEFA Cup, which is the underappreciated, underloved runt of a little brother to the Champions League. At one time, it carried much more prestige, but these days it's almost completely ignored except by those whose teams are participating in it. Those teams are the "short bus" of European contintental soccer. A win in the UEFA Cup final doesn't even get you anywhere except for an invite to the same competition the following year.

Basically, this is the future for a team like Spurs, talented but with nowhere near enough resources to be able to crash the "big four's" party: finish between 5th and 10th in the table, make deep runs in one or both domestic cups, compete regularly in the UEFA Cup. On the surface, that doesn't sound so bad, but like I said, the only way to measure glory in soccer is the amount of trophies won. A handful of UEFA Cups is not going to impress anyone, and on top of that it will start to become excedingly frustrating once everyone realizes that's basically the ceiling of what a team like Spurs is able to achieve.

It's a depressing notion, and it almost makes me think I'd rather support some middling Championship or League One team, where success can still be attained simply through promotion to the next level, or even a struggling EPL team, where just staying up is an accomplishment. Most of the teams in the EPL, though, are stuck in between. They have too much ambition and too much talent to get relegated, but not enough to ever make an impact.

Which brings me back to the whole playoff format vs. league format debate. The four major American sporting leagues, the MLB, NFL, NBA, and NHL, all have champions determined by a playoff system. And in each of those leagues, even the capless MLB, there's so much more parity than in European soccer leagues it's obscene.

What the playoffs do is not make the regular season meaningless, contrary to popular belief. They give more teams a chance to win. In the span of a year, we had the lowest-seeded AFC team win the Super Bowl, the MLB playoff team with the worst record end up capturing the World Series, and the lowest-seeded Western Conference team come within one victory of taking home the Stanley Cup.

It really says something that I'm more optimistic as a Pirates fan now than I am as a Spurs fan. In baseball, teams can get hot for a season or two even if they're as miserable as the Pirates are. No matter what Spurs do, there is, for all intents and purposes, a ceiling on what they're able to accomplish.

And for the teams that don't win, making it into the postseason is still a small token of victory. If a football team wins ten division titles in fifteen years, even if it only wins one Super Bowl, that's still pretty impressive. On the other hand, if a team finishes in the top half of the EPL table (but not the top 4) for ten consecutive years, and has a couple of UEFA Cups trophies to show for it, no one gives a shit.

In short, what American sports have that European soccer leagues only dream they could have is the factor of unpredictability. As beautiful and entertaining as the EPL is, it really could learn something from American sports.

This isn't the best piece of writing I've ever done, but it's something that I needed to get off my chest.

Little Thoughts

Some musings on the past few days in the world of sports as it pertains solely to me. Since I'm the only person who writes in this blog these days anyway and could very well be the only person who reads it.

• I think this weekend lends a lot of creedence to the theory that in the EPL, no matter how ambitious a club is, there are still basically two teams that can and should expect to win every time they take the pitch. Everyone else is capable of beating everyone else.
  
  Still, what a fucking let down. Win and you're within spitting distance of qualifying for Europe via the league, which would have been pretty remarkable given the atrocious start.

• Pitt has so clearly mailed it in, and to be honest, I'm really not all that upset about it. As long as the Big East is gifted with a BCS berth, Pitt as a football program has reached the stage where anything less should not be considered a success. Losing to Rutgers, for all intents and purposes ended Pitt's chances of playing in the Orange Bowl, so there really isn't any reason to keep trying.
  
  All I care about is one thing: a good showing in the Backyard Brawl. That's our bowl game right there, and given that the game is at Heinz Field, at the very least don't embarrass yourselves. Give me a reason to run around campus shouting "GO HOME MOUNTAINEERS" afterwards.

• I still haven't really weighed in on Yuslan Herrera, mainly because I was going to wait until the signing became official. But then I realized that could take weeks and my opinion will more than likely not change until then, barring a revelation of some inordinate amount of money being paid.
  
  On the surface, though, I really can't say I'm too particularly thrilled. One view is that, provided DL didn't grossly overpay for Herrera's services, this could be the kind of outside-the-box move that could pay dividends a year or two down the road. Yuslan probably won't be ready to pitch in the Major Leagues this season, but this could potentially be similar to Walt Jocketty signing Chris Carpenter to a multi-year deal a year before he was able to make a full comeback. If this gamble pays off, it also makes one of the other starters expendable in a trade (not that I trust DL to take advantage of that or anything).
  
  Then there's the other side of the story, the side that's probably much closer to the truth. Every so often, everyone who writes about the Pirates not named Ed Eagle or Rob Rossi, from Dejan on down to the lowliest bloggers, goes on a crusade about some aspect of the Pirates that is severely lacking. This kind of stuff gets published in mainstream media, and after enough harping, the general ticket-buying public will pick up on it.
  
  Recently, the vogue has been was criticizing the team for making no effort to be competitive (read: spend money) in foreign markets, namely Latin America. So what does DL do? He goes out and says HEY LOOK I FOUND THIS CUBAN GUY and thinks the general ticket-buying public will view that as a problem solved, although the people who brought this problem to light in the first place still won't be fooled.
  
  The same thing happened last winter, when the issue was the complete lack of advance scouting employed by the Pirates. Coincidentally, Dave Littlefield hired an advance scout for the first time ever. Now, as then, Littlefield seems to be making a knee-jerk reaction to something that has been costing the team hit points in the realm of PR.
  
  Bottom line, this may turn out to be a good baseball move, but it still doesn't show that DL has any sort of plan whatsoever. In fact, it tends to make me believe the exact opposite even more. Boy, being a Pirates fan sure is fun.

• The NFL, on the other hand, is a bucketload of fun these days. Days like yesterday are exactly why, as Marty Schottenheimer says, "the NFL is the most popular sport in the world."
  
  Still not going to even think about the playoffs, still not going to even think about the playoffs, still not going to even think about the playoffs...but damn, if the Titans had found a way to pull that one out...Rob Bironas should have fallen over for no reason and taken a mulligan. It's worked for Titans kickers in the past.
  
  It's going to be weird rooting for Michael Vick, Herm Edwards, and the Cleveland Browns at various points throughout the rest of the season. But that's the nature of the NFL, and that really is why the NFL is so great.

• I wonder if Jason Bay and Brian Ching are pals. I saw yesterday while flipping back and forth between the Willie Parker Show and the MLS Cup that Brian Ching is 28 years old, and went to Gonzaga. Jason Bay is 28 years old, and went to Gonzaga. Not that it means anything, and it certainly wouldn't be nearly as cool as Freddy Sanchez and Jack Wilson being youth league teammates, but it piqued my curiosity, anyway.

• Oh hey, it's college basketball season. It's great when ESPN makes time on SportsCenter to show highlights of your team in what's essentially a token game. Ah, the joys of supporting the fourth-ranked team in the nation. Comeuppance for the Pirates continuously getting shafted on Baseball Tonight, I say.

Spurs vs. Besiktas -- LIVEBLOG

Welcome to Istanbul! Today, Spurs kick off the group stage of the UEFA Cup against Turkish side Besiktas, which was a quarterfinalist in this competition in 2003.

Spurs welcome skipper Ledley King back into the fold. Ledley missed this past weekend's trip to Villa Park due to lingering issues from knee surgery earlier in the year. He'll be partnering Michael Dawson, returning from a concussion sustained against Villa (his second such blow of the young season). Pascal Chimbonda and Benoit Assou-Ekotto assume their usual positions on the side, all four of whom will be playing in front of Paul Robinson, who assuaged some of the criticism directed at him following the now-infamous blunder in Zagreb with a strong performance in Birmingham.

Didier Zokora is rumored to have a stomach virus and that is why he is not in the squad for today, being replaced in his usual central midfield role by young Tom Huddlestone, who will be alongside Jermaine Jenas, with Hossam Ghaly and Danny Murphy on their right and left flanks, respectively. I would have thought Edgar Davids would be given a run out to go along with a more defensive-minded midfield that would make sense given a European away match.

Robbie Keane and Dimitar Berbatov will be the striking partners today, although it's likely Keano will drop into a deeper role. The bench is comprised of the usual suspects: Robbo's deputy Radek Cerny, rightback Paul Stalteri and centerback Anthony Gardner, Davids, and wingers Reto Ziegler and Aaron Lennon and striker Jermain Defoe to provide width and/or a spark if Jols feels it's necessary.

A draw would be a good result, and a win would just be gravy. If Spurs can find a goal somehow, they've already got one defensive-minded center midfielder in Huddlestone and they have Davids on the bench, and it would not be at all surprising to see him get some action in the second half. Lennon may get some pitch time as well as the team attempts to return him to match fitness after his spell recovering from knee surgery.

1st min. -- Spurs kick off, clad in their all-white kits that are designed to bring back memories of past triumphs in Europe.

4th min. -- It must be cold in Turkey; Benoit Assou-Ekotto and Pascal Chimbonda are wearing gloves. Robbo deals with his first backpass without incident.

9th min. -- The closest Spurs have gotten to goal, a free kick from Robinson is flicked on by Berbatov to Keano, who tries to do something magical on the edge of the box but is completely swamped by Besiktas defenders.

10th min. -- The game has started sluggishly, as would be expected, but Spurs are starting to enjoy a little more position. Hopefully not too much longer before they start fashioning some serious threats on goal. If we can create a goal and sit on it, that would be mission accomplished in a big way.

12th min. -- And there it is!......or not. A good collection of passes leads to Ghaly getting dumped on the edge of the area, with the ball running to Danny Murphy, whose first-time shot is parried into the path of Dimitar Berbatov, who puts the ball into the empty net...only to be ruled offside.

16th min. -- A nifty cross-field pass finds Assou-Ekotto, whose bending ball into the box is deftly headed by Berbatov, but as the Bulgarian is falling away from the goal, it lacks any sort of power and doesn't trouble the keeper.

17th min. -- As suspected, Keane is helping out a lot on defense, but there hasn't been much to do back there. Spurs are really enjoying the lion's share of the possession, and they've just won their first corner...which is delivered straight into the arms of the keeper off the head of Berbatov.

20th min. -- Besiktas are putting together their best stretch of possession. A ball is headed in the air in Spurs' box a few times, but eventually cleared by Ledley for a throw. Chimbonda's been booked for what looked like a pretty petty foul (EDIT: It was for dissenting the foul). Besiktas works one shooting opportunity, but it deflects off Dawson's back and gathered easily by Robbo.

24th min. -- Keano's already started the arm-waving and gesticulating. Besiktas have won their first corner, but nothing comes of it. Besiktas are really getting into the game now, and their third consecutive attack is cut short by a foul on Assou-Ekotto.

26th min. -- A ball from Ghaly is superbly flicked on by Jenas, but Berbatov is beaten to the ball by Besiktas, which clears for a throw, which is turned into a corner. It's headed away, and Assou-Ekotto sends an ambitious shot over the bar from over thirty yards out.

28th min. -- Chimbonda has been superb. Not just in this game, but since being purchased from Wigan in the last hours of the transfer window. He deserved man of the match against Villa for his performance acting as a center back when Spurs were down to ten men. Meanwhile, Besiktas seems to be targeting Assou-Ekotto down their right side, and the Cameroonian blocks yet cross for a corner, which turns out to be harmless.

31st min. -- Ghaly is up to his usual tricks, hitting people and committing fouls. The game is opening up a lot more. Besiktas gets a chance at the edge of the area for an open shot through Sedef, but it's shanked well to the left under pressure from Ghaly for a goal kick.

32nd min. -- AND THERE IT IS! For real this time! Berbatov does exceedingly well to bring down and control Robinson's goal kick, and sends Ghaly through with no one to beat but the keeper. Runje comes out and manages to get a piece of the ball, but only swats it right back into Ghaly's knee, which directs the ball into the open net. It's Ghaly's first goal for Spurs, and a big one it is!

36th min.-40th min. -- Besiktas are already striving hard for an equaliser. Nobre's diving header is directed wide of the right post. Dawson is showing no fear of getting up and heading the ball despite this season's run of head injuries, but one of his attempts results in a free kick. It's bent around the wall and stung at Robinson, who does superbly to leap and punch it into the air, and then again off his goal line with attackers bearing down. Spurs nearly get something on the counterattack, but Berbatov's ball across the box eludes Keane.

43rd min. -- Spurs are at it again. Berbatov outmuscles Toroman and another defender for the ball and sends Murphy through with a clever pass. Murphy is forced to shoot from an extremely narrow angle, and his ball just misses the far post and rolls along the line somehow without going out.

45th min. -- Besiktas nearly pull one out at the death. The ball is worked in from the right side of the attack, and chipped into the box for Nobre to run on to. It appears he had the better of Dawson and King, but was late in arriving to the ball and skies his shot over the charging Robinson. He appeals vehemently that he was being held back by one of the Spurs defenders, and perhaps he has some reason for complaint. I have to see another replay.

HALFTIME -- Overall, Spurs have played a solid first half, about as well as could be expected in a tough away atmosphere like the ones the rabid Turkish supporters create. A draw would have been a good result coming into the game, but a win would be fantastic. The main worry in the second half, however, should be keeping everyone fit for the West Ham game on Sunday.

Another thing I've found is that soccer is much more difficult to LiveBlog than, say, baseball or American football. Those games have plenty of pauses and stops. Here, I'll glance away from the stream to type something and I'll end up missing a key bit of action.

46th min. -- Keano has a word with the referee as the teams take the pitch for the start of the second half. Brazilian Bobo replaces Sedef for the Turks.

47th min. -- Ghaly is everywhere tonight. He's beginning to look like a potential man of the match candidate. Here he nearly blocks what should have been a routine clearance into Keane's path. Berbatov has been busy tonight as well. He beats two men down the sideline before it's knocked into touch.

50th min. -- A long ball by Chimbonda is directed at Keane, but the Irishman fails to make significant contact on a volley attempt and the ball rolls through to Runje.

51st min. -- Berbatov earns a free kick from an angle, and on the ball into the box, Runje collides with one of his defenders and can only punch it out for a throw. The throw goes to Berbatov, who deftly flicks it up to himself and tries a volley from a tight angle that's easily gathered by Runje.

55th min. -- This ref has been very quick to blow his whistle tonight, although to his credit he's kept his book in his pocket most of the time. We've hit somewhat of a dull patch in the game, as Besiktas tries to find a combination that will work to get pressure on goal. Spurs have successfully snuffing out all of their efforts without too much trouble.

57th min. -- Ghaly goes into the book, either because he's just committed a repeat infringement or because he kicked the ball away after the ref blew the whistle.

59th min. -- A shot from distance by Kutulus looked to be on target but it deflects off King's head for a corner. After a scuffle in the box, the ball is kicked straight up into the air by Dawson, but when it comes back down Keano is right there to clear it.

63rd min. -- 2-0, and that should do it. Berbatov emarks on a fantastic solo run following a long ball, cutting inside one defender and then beating the keeper the other way. Beautiful. This is the kind of performance we paid all that money for in August.

65th min. -- There's a shot of a bunch of Turkish dignitaries or something in the stands, looking none too pleased. The crowd, vicious at the start of the match, has been greatly subdued.

66th min. -- Besiktas make their second substitution, Akin for Tatan.

67th min. -- Keane just misses adding to Spurs' already-comfortable lead. Berbatov beats Mercimek yet again, then sends a cross straight to Keane, who pounds it into the ground on the first touch. It comes up and off the crossbar before settling into the hands of a relieved Runje.

70th min. -- Ghaly goes sprawling but a foul is not called and Besiktas have numbers, but the final shot is a daisy-cutter well to the left of Robbo's goal off the foot of Yilmaz.

71st min. -- Spurs again miss an opportunity for a third goal. A clearance from Huddlestone is sent to Berbatov then through to Ghaly, making a run down the middle, and then on to Keano coming down the right side. However, Keane's effort is a weak side-footed shot along the ground straight at Runje.

72nd min. -- Penalty? Berbatov again just pushes past Mercimek, who takes the Bulgarian down from behind inside the box without appearing to make contact with much, if any, of the ball.

73rd min. -- Murphy goes to ground and takes a long time to get up, but he doesn't even need to leave the pitch.

77th min. -- Dawson gets caught too far forward, and Besiktas go on a break with numbers, but Daws does an excellent job to track back and help Ledley deal with the threat without an incident.

79th min. -- Besiktas have not given up yet. A cross into the box skims across everyone's head and rolls to the far touchline. Chimbonda, looking as lively as ever, defuses another Besiktas push forward.

80th min. -- Spurs finally make their first substitution, Reto Ziegler for Murphy. Spurs are taking their time and trying to slow down the pace of the game.

83rd min. -- And here comes Aaron Lennon, coming on in place of Ghaly, who had a very good night. Jol is most likely conserving him for a start on Sunday at the Lane.

85th min. -- The away supporters are bouncing up and down, rocking the stands. They know it's getting close.

87th min. -- Lennon very nearly fashions one more attempt on goal, making it look easy as he just flies past Mercimek into the box, who has been beaten all night long, but instead of shooting, tries to lay the ball off to Berbatov, but his pass is intercepted.

88th min. -- Besiktas finally get a shot on goal in this half, Yilmaz plays with the ball at the edge of the box, finds some space, and hits a low drive that Robbo goes down and saves well to his right.

89th min. -- Ziegler leaves Toroman in his wake and has all day to cross to either Keane or Berbatov in the box, but still hits it straight at a player dressed in black.

90th min. -- Spurs are just wasting time now, sending Defoe on for Berbatov, who could very well win Man of the Match. Three minutes of time to be added on.

93rd min. -- One last corner for Spurs, it's headed away by Chimbonda and the ref blows his whistle.

FULL TIME -- A superb performance by Spurs, going into Istanbul and emerging with three points in Group B. Next up is Brugge at the Lane in two weeks. My Man of the Match is Dimitar Berbatov, with consideration going to Hossam Ghaly as well.

Little Thoughts

Good day, everyone. I hope all is well on this idyllic New England autumn morning.

Spurs 1-1 Villa

In the English midlands, we were treated to quite a goofy game between Spurs, desperate for points, especially road points, and Aston Villa, which has not lost a Premiership game this season. In the first half, Spurs played Spurs football, that is, enjoyed a lot of possession, created numerous scoring chances, did absolutely nothing with them.

In the second half, we ran into some injury trouble when Michael Dawson had to be substituted after sustaining his second concussion of the fledgling year (definitely not a good thing) in a knock with Juan Pablo Angel, leaving Calum Davenport, our third choice center back, as the only legitimate center back on the field for the Lilywhites. This all changed when Davenport was adjudged to have fouled Gabriel Agbonlahor in the box, although the BBC radio guys were pretty convinced Agbonlahor tripped over himself and were beside themselves when the referee not only pointed to the spot but presented Davenport with a red card. This is what happens when you run afoul of karma, I suppose.

Angel stepped up to take the penalty, but flashed his shot wide of Robinson's post, although England's Number One did pick the right direction. However, the damage had been done. This unfortunate bit of refereeing left Spurs with Pascal Chimbonda, Benoit Assou-Ekotto, and Paul Stalteri as their true defenders, none of which ever plays in the center of the pitch. Sure enough, we would be in for a wild final fifteen minutes.

Just moments after the penalty drama, Angel gifted Spurs a goal by heading a harmless Jermain Defoe corner kick into his own goal without a Spurs player anywhere near him. Everyone knew what was coming. Martin Jol sent on Edgar Davids for Dimitar Berbatov, and Spurs, down a man, would most certainly be under attack nonstop until the final whistle.

Spurs went to sort of an 8-1-1 formation, with 8 makeshift centerbacks, Benoit Assou-Ekotto on the left wing, and Jermain Defoe all by himself up front. It didn't take Gareth Barry long to rescue his team, slotting home from the edge of the box. Villa were playing with all ten of their field players in the Spurs half, determined to get a full share of the points. It nearly cost them when Jermaine Jenas picked someone's pocket and sent Defoe through with nothing between him and keeper (former Goon) Stuart Taylor except for forty yards of green grass. The linesman's flag went up, however, which made absolutely no sense because Defoe started his run from his own half of the field, and theoretically players can't be called offside from their own half.

Robbo, who was the subject of much abuse throughout the match by the home fans after the freak incident against Croatia mid-week, was called upon to make a string of fine saves as Villa's relentless attack continued through four minutes of stoppage time until Atkinson mercifully blew the game dead.


Borat is apparently quite popular in Zagreb. Paul Robinson is less so in England these days, although he was certainly a hero in today's match.

With the draw, Spurs earned their first away point of the season and cobbled together their best away performance to date. I feel like the sleeping giant is in the process of groggily waking up, rubbing the crud from his eyes. Aaron Lennon is back, Steed Malbranque will be following shortly.

After a trip to Turkey this week for the opening matchday in the UEFA Cup group stage, Spurs return to London and don't travel more than 45 miles away from the capital for an entire month. If maximum points can be achieved against West Ham at the Lane and Watford at Vicarage Road, Spurs could conceivably have breached the top half of the table going into the Chelsea derby on November 5. With a League Cup tie in Milton Keynes and another UEFA Cup home game against Brugge, these next few weeks will be exciting times in North London.

So how exactly do you go about getting into the top 25 again?

There are some things I just don't understand about college football. For instance, there's this team. It plays in one of the more prestigious conferences in division one, is off to a 6-1 start for the first time since some guy named Marino was playing quarterback, and is in the top 10 in all of division one in scoring with 37.5 points per game. It's not exactly giving them up, either, allowing an average of just 13 over points a game. And that's including a 38-point belch against Michigan State in the team's only loss.

This team's current quarterback had completed 70 percent of his passes this year, 17 of them for touchdowns, and only three into the arms of opposing players. His quarterback rating is 188.59. I have no idea how quarterback rating is computer, but I was previously under the impression that the scale doesn't even go that high.

The team's feature running back is averaging 5.5 yards per carry and is on his way to a 1,000-yard season. He's also pitched in 6 of the team's 11 rushing touchdowns.

The two top receivers have combined to catch 10 touchdown passes and both average more than 17 yards a catch.

This team is the University of Pittsburgh Panthers.

I realize the top 25 is pretty meaningless apart from reputation, but it's just insulting to sit here and watch Pitt demolish teams 52-7 while pus like Rutgers, a perennial shit stain on the Big East's underwear, has been in the top 25 for about a month now based on beating teams like South Florida by two points.

Things will probably be a little different come Monday, especially after Navy pisses all over Rutgers this afternoon, but I still take satisfaction about being able to play the no-respect card. So I'll continue to do it as long as Tyler Palko & co. are playing like they deserve everyone's respect.

Little Thoughts

A collection of musings on this sunny but brisk Monday morning here in the Hub.

- Congratulations to Freddy Sanchez for not only capturing the National League batting title, but in the process providing an exclamation point on the analysis of everything that's wrong with the Pirates franchise. Sadly, it's not likely to bring about very much change, as Dave Littlefield will undoubtedly pull the trigger on the first Ryan Klesko or Luis Gonzalez he can get his hands on and thus continue the cycle of overpaying guys who had a decent season once upon a 1999 despite the presence of younger, cheaper players who could perform just as well, or win batting titles, or something.

- Congratulations also to the Minnesota Twins, my American League team if I had to pick one due to the abundance of blood relations I have living in the Twin Cities and the number of games I've attended at the Metrodome in the last decade or so, far and away the most of any non-PNC Park sporting venue, even the Altoona Curve's Blair County Ballpark.
However, I do have to say that I think any American League team would be better off facing the Yankees in the first round, especially a team built around one dominant starting pitcher, as the Twins are. If the Twins were to play the Yankees in the ALDS and Johan Sanatana won his two starts, the chances of lucking into a win in one of the other three games is much greater than needing to luck into two wins in five games (or even four, if Santana were somehow able to pitch three games in a best-of-7 series). Regardless, I'll be rooting hard for the Twins. Come on guys, do it for Brad Radke.

- The Pirates closed out the year with back to back shutouts. If I was just emerging from a cave and given this information, I would have assumed Zach Duke and Ian Snell or some combination of the two had started the games for the Bucs. However, the guys taking the mound for the home team at PNC Park the last two days were probably very close to the list of "People least likely to pitch seven consecutive scoreless innings in the same Major League Baseball game," even if such a list were compiled in July.

The Pirates scored three runs on Saturday night, an impressive feat considering they'd plated more than two runs just twice during the eight-game losing streak leading up to the game. The beneficiary of this offensive boon was none other than Marty McLeary. Yes, the Marty McLeary. His mound opponent that night was Bronson Arroyo, creating probably my favorite pitching matchup of the entire season, and my brother got to go to the game instead of me by virtue of actually living in Pittsburgh from September through April.

McLeary is the thirty-two year old of perhaps the most unremarkable Minor League career ever. After attending Mount Vernon Nazerene University, a school supposedly in Ohio although I tend to believe it doesn't actually exist, McLeary was drafted by the Red Sox in the 10th round of the 1997 draft. From then on, he posted a 3.96 cumulative ERA in ten Minor League seasons, splitting the last four between the Marlins, Padres, and Pirates organizations.
He was called up on August 28 with the DLing of Mike Gonzalez and Tom Gorzelanny after enjoying easily his best professional season to date. He was one of the Indy Indians' most valuable pitchers, acting as a swingman, putting up a 2.68 ERA and striking out over a batter an inning while starting 13 games and appearing out of the bullpen in 22 others. At the time of his callup, I'm pretty sure I was the only person on the entire planet who even got remotely excited about the move. But there's nothing not to like about a 32-year-old rookie getting a chance at the Major League level for absolutely no reason.

It wasn't McLeary's Major League debut, as he experienced a thoroughly forgettable stint with the Padres in 2004 in which he allowed 6 earned runs in 3 2/3 innings, but he was determined to come back with a vengeance, thanks to a revamped slider and a diving changeup that were key to his success in Indianapolis. After being used in back to back games during his first series with the Pirates, it looked as if he might go the way of the Vic Santos when he was allowed to pitch in a real game just once in the entire month of September. When Paul Maholm, like every other under-25 Pirates starter not named Zach Duke, experienced some sort of discomfort in his elbow/shoulder/knee/face and was forced to skip a start, McLeary was one of the few options available to take his September 24 start against the Padres in San Diego.

He took the start and ran with it, allowing just one run in five innings to the Padres, in the thick of a pennant race with their rivals in Los Angeles and the half-dozen or so teams still competing for the National League Wild Card. It was all the more impressive considering the fact that he had not appeared in a live game in 20 days. McLeary again took Maholm’s next start by default in the penultimate game of the season on Saturday against the Reds and scattered five hits across seven innings while not allowing anyone to cross the plate.

The following afternoon, taking the hill for the Pirates in the season finale was a pitcher with just about as fun a story as McLeary. This one was left-handed, Nigerian, and about six years younger, but nevertheless a long shot to ever pitch a shutout in the Major Leagues.
Shane Youman, son of a Nigerian-born father, was raised in New Iberia, Louisiana, and was drafted in the 43rd round of the 2001 draft out of Louisiana State, essentially making him the Rob Mackowiak of pitchers. Already off to a slow start than most because of his age when entering professional baseball (22) and low draft stature, Youman was an afterthought as a long reliever, although he was just successful enough to progress one level each year, from short-season Williamsport, to low-A Hickory, to high-A Lynchburg. By 2005, Youman was ready to pitch in Altoona, where he had his worst season as a pro, and his future as a prospect, as if it weren’t doubtful enough, really began to hang in the balance.

In Spring Training 2006, someone within the organization had the brilliant idea of turning Youman into a starting pitcher. This has been widely covered by the Pittsburgh media, but I still haven’t seen the idea actually attributed to anyone. Regardless, it seemed goofy at the time because most of the time, pitchers who struggle as starting pitchers in the Minor Leagues get converted to the bullpen and become lights-out (see: Mike Gonzalez). For some reason, though, Youman experienced the exact opposite. In Altoona’s rotation, his walk rate drop drastically and he was so dominant that he was still a candidate for the Eastern League’s Pitcher of the Year award despite leaving the Eastern League for the greener pastures of the International League in mid-July.

With the Indy Indians, Youman was solid, though nowhere near as overwhelmingly good as he had been with the Curve. Youman was one of two September call-ups the Pirates made from Indianapolis, and made his Major League debut on September 10 in lieu of the injured Tom Gorzelanny. He was mediocre, although he exhibited uncharacteristic wildness that he attributed to nerves. In his next appearance six days later, he served as Gorzelanny’s caddy in Gorzo’s return from his ailments. Gorzo pitched four innings, Youman the next three, allowing just one run in a 3-2 victory over the Mets who at that time were still trying to clinch the N.L. East. It was this performance that caused Mets broadcaster and former first baseman Keith Hernandez to liken Youman to a young Darren Oliver, the main difference being that in his age 26 season, Oliver started 30-plus games at in the Major Leagues for the second consecutive season, while Youman still hasn’t made thirty starts in his entire professional career. Hopefully, the opposites continue and Youman ends up having a Major League career with a sub-5 ERA.

Youman made one more start and one more relief appearance, the latter in a much more effective manner than the first, before Ian Snell’s fatigue due to bad-assedly finishing in the top 10 in the National League in strikeouts per nine innings forced him to miss out on starting the season finale. Youman stepped in, and the rest, as they say, is history. He yielded just four hits in his best Marty McLeary impression, using a well-located sinking changeup to induce a whopping 14 ground ball outs, making the fact that he only struck out one batter pretty much irrelevant.

Apart from the fact that these two guys are both the result of moderately fun stories, the likes of which can only be found in professional baseball (see: Ken Ray), I also have interest in what becomes of them this offseason and next March. It is a given that the Pirates will want a mediocre right-handed pitcher to be the fifth starter next season, because the same thing happens every season. Given the Pirates status, finances, and intelligence of the front office staff, this pitcher will probably end up being not very good, and there’s a good chance McLeary would fare no worse than whoever they bring in at a fraction of the cost, especially if they decide to just bring Shawn Chacon back. At the very least, he’d be a worthwhile addition to the team in the Ryan Vogelsong role, except he’d be more likely to actually get people out. Youman would make a perfect addition to the bullpen, especially since Jim Tracy absolutely needs at least three lefties, especially if one of them is the closer. Damaso Marte is a) not very good and b) about to be a free agent, so that leaves a spot open for Youman, who’s probably better than John Grabow anyway.

Unfortunately, due to the way the Pirates work, in all likelihood neither one will be given much of an opportunity. Sure, they’ll both be name-dropped at the beginning of spring training as being in the running for the annual fifth starter and third lefty reliever derbies, but because of the stereotypes handed down from the scouting department (age, inability to throw really hard), neither one will be given a fair chance. I really hope I’m wrong.

- Congratulations to Sal Torres, who tied Kent Tekulve’s Pirates record for appearances by a pitcher in a single season, having pitched in 94 games this season. In doing so, he became one of just four pitchers to ever pitch in 90 games in a season, which was a surprisingly low number to me. These four immortals are Sal, Teke, Mike Marshall, and Wayne Granger. Sal’s return from five years in which he did not play professional baseball of any sort to become one of the most consistent, durable, and effective relievers in baseball is one of my favorite baseball stories since the turn of the century. I generally don’t like Dave Littlefield and I generally don’t like giving middle relievers multi-year, multi-million dollars contracts. That said, I really do like the contract DL gave Sal last winter, as unpopular as it was at the time. If anyone in our bullpen is worthy of such a prize, Sal is it. He’s the anchor.

- According to Dejan Kovacevic, Dave Littlefield was booed by the 25,004 at PNC Park Sunday afternoon during the postgame ceremony honoring Freddy Sanchez. The season finale is generally a big draw among season ticket holders, so it seems like the fan base is really starting to figure out what’s up.

- Moving across the ocean, Spurs finally kickstarted their season about a month late by taking home three points against high-flying Portsmouth. Sadly, the only thing anyone wants to talk about in relation to this game is Didier Zokora's alleged dive that referee Chris Foy awarded a penalty, which Jermain Defoe converted for Spurs's second goal, a goal that became crucial when Nwankwo Kanu headed home a Gary O'Neil cross five minutes later to cut Spurs' lead in half.

Spurs held on for the 2-1 win, but the main talking point still remains Zokora's antics. Now, let me say that yes, it is pretty obvious from watching the replays that Pedro Mendes did not touch Zokora as the Ivoirian turned him in the box. In case you haven't seen a replay of this, watch this clip.

I am finding it hard making up my mind about this, since there does seem to be pretty overwhelming evidence that Zokora did indeed intentionally take a spill in an attempt to draw a penalty. I don't want to believe that Zokora would do such a thing, especially since, having watched him since the World Cup, he hasn't been prone to such theatrics that I've seen.

However, regardless of what was actually going through Zokora's mind, a point that I have yet to see being brought up is that this all would have been completely rendered moot if Pedro Mendes HAD NOT DRAGGED HIS LEG ACROSS THE DRIBBLER'S PATH. I realize that, as a defender, you have to do what you have to do to stop an opposing player in your own box, but when you stick your leg out like that AFTER THE OPPOSING PLAYER HAS BEATEN YOU, you're asking to be called for a foul if the attacker goes down no matter the reason for the attacker going down.

As for Chris Foy, the idea that he really screwed up in awarding the penalty is ludicrous. At game speed, it would have been nearly impossible to tell that there was no contact made unless you happened to actually be Zokora or Pedro Mendes. I was watching the game with a friend of mine who supports Manchester United, and he was shouting for a penalty as soon as the play happened. Even the commentators on the clip I linked to had no qualms about the penalty decision until they saw a replay. Unfortunately for Pompey, slow motion instant replays from multiple angles are not a luxury Chris Foy possesses when he's out on the pitch having to make spur of the moment decisions.

- I can't really complain about Spurs' performance apart from that, except that Jermaine Jenas really needs to learn how to finish. He's easily been the most frustrating player I've had to watch over the last year. He does so many things right, he tackles well, he moves from box to box, he's willing to play on the wing if Martin Jol deems it necessary, he's capable of putting a dead ball wherever he wants, and he has an uncanny knack for a midfielder of getting himself in excellent positions to score. The problem is, he doesn't score nearly often enough considering the amount of chances he has. On Sunday he had three golden opportunities to net one, but only managed to put it on target once, earning a good save from David James. Of the other chances, one was scuffed and one was shot into the stands. I like Jenas as a player, but I think he needs to be shaken up a little bit. He's the only Spurs midfielder to start every single game in all competitions for Spurs this season, which is ridiculous when you consider the absurd amount of center midfielders currently in the squad.

- I'm even more convinced now after watching the first half of Sunday's debacle at Paul Brown Stadium in Cincinnati that the Steelers are still the best team in the AFC North. I won't concede anything about the Ravens until they play the Bengals and more importantly, the Steelers themselves. Seriously, bring on the Ravens.

On the other hand, it was nice seeing them take care of San Diego so effectively, at least from a defensive standpoint. From the looks of it, they basically gameplanned to take Ladainian Tomlinson and Antonio Gates out of the equation, which seems to be the way anyone with a competent defense is able to beat the Chargers. The Steelers did it last year in front of a prime time national television audience in San Diego, and I think they'll be able to do it again next Sunday. Cowher doesn't need to motivate his boys any more than to say, "Look, guys, if the Ravens can do it..."

- Finally, the last play of the Jets/Colts game has to be the best thing ever to transpire on a football field. The NFL needs more of things like that.

The Footy - Saturday, September 30

September came to a close in an exciting fashion in the English Premier League on Saturday. With only ten teams in action, the five games provided plenty of it. The big shocker was Bolton outmuscling Liverpool at the Reebok. Reds keeper Pepe Reina was erroneously called for handling a ball outside the box. On the ensuing free kick, Ivan Campo tapped the ball to Welshman Gary Speed, who somehow drove the ball through a mess of players and into the net. A Campo header in the second half ensured Liverpool would not be able to fight back against the Wanderers, which climbed to second in the table.

Speed's goal was not special in itself, but his strike against Watford on September 9 made him and Manchester United's Ryan Giggs the only players to score goals in every season of the English Premier League's existence. Gary Speed is old. I was watching this Tony Yeboah highlight reel and saw that one of the players Yeboah was celebrating with was Gary Speed. Yeboah and Speed were last Leeds teammates in 1996. Gary Speed is old.

In a London derby, Charlton coughed up a Darren Bent-produced lead to two Robin Van Persie strikes, giving the gooners a much-needed three points. Across the Thames at Stamford Bridge, Aston Villa battled with hosts Chelsea to a 1-1 draw, with Didier Drogba continuing his red-hot form of late, netting the opener after just three minutes. However, the game was there for Villa to take. After Gabriel Agbonlahor equalised just before the break, Villa had numerous chances in the late going, including a sitter that Angel woefully flailed at. The draw slowed Chelsea, which is now only two points to the good atop the table.

The remaining two Premiership matches were both marked by late heroics. At Goodison Park, Manchester City trailed for the entire second half after an Andy Johnson goal shortly before the interval. With four minutes of added time, City's play became increasingly desperate. The ball was knocked around in the Merseysiders half for an extended period of time, before a Sylvain Distin long ball into the box was flicked on by Bernardo Corradi and fell to defender Micah Richards, who made no mistake with a drive off the underside of the bar and into the back of the net.

It gets even better, though; during the ensuing pandemonium, City midfielder Joey Barton actually mooned the home supporters. Randy Moss, you have nothing on Joey Barton.

Finally, in the late game, hosts Sheffield United drew first blood via a Rob Hulse goal, but Aiyegbeni Yakubu equalised for Middlesbrough shortly after halftime. Yakubu had been one of the goats for Boro up to that point, having hit post from point blank range after doing a clever job of rounding keeper Patrick Kenny. The game remained 1-1 until the very last, when midfielder Phil Jagielka collected a half-clearance and produced a very Yeboah-esque wonderstrike from thirty yards out, putting a dagger in the hearts of the Teesiders and in doing so, became the first Blades player not named Rob Hulse to score a goal this season.

The three points for the Blades moved them out of the relegation zone. The team that replaced them there was none other than Tottenham Hotspur, meaning a positive result is all but crucial in tomorrow's clash with league upstarts Portsmouth tomorrow morning. As if there weren't already enough tension for the Yid Army, Mido jumpstarted things by calling out Pompey centerback Sol Campbell, referring to Judas "the easiest defender I've ever played against." Granted, Mido probably won't even be in the starting XI, with the excellent news coming that Dimitar Berbatov and Jermain Defoe, along with skipper Ledley King, are all looking fit for tomorrow. Martin Jol did the saving-face routine, describing Mido as "disrespectful and irresponsible," but the damage has been done, and I wouldn't even be all that surprised if it was Jol who had instructed Mido to stir up the hornet's nest.

See, Spurs and their supporters all know far too well that Sol Campbell tends to have a delicate psyche. The story of Campbell coming up through Spurs academy and becoming the best English centerback of his era, being named captain of Spurs, and then throwing it all away by ditching us for our North London rivals, Arsenal, on a free transfer, has been well publicized. Since then, Spurs supporters have gone out of their way to make Campbell as miserable as possible. Last year in the first leg of the North London Derby at White Hart Lane, Mido did indeed run all over Sol, and it was clear that the fans really were getting inside of his head. It wasn't long after that before Campbell went AWOL during halftime of a 3-2 loss at the hands of West Ham and didn't let anyone know where he was for nearly a week, leading to all kinds of fun speculation.

After the season, Sol "retired" to the south coast, where he and his Pompey comrades have combined to form the best defense in the early going of the EPL, allowing just one goal on the season. He seems to have found peace of mind, but Mido's barbs, along with a vicious home crowd tomorrow, could start unraveling Sol once again. It will be very interesting to see how it all plays out. Spurs need points, and in a hurry.

And of course, this entry wouldn't be complete without mentioning that Shamrock Rovers burst into the semifinals of the FAI Cup in dramatic fashion by scoring two goals in the final seven minutes of the match in Athlone on a cold and rainy night (although considering it's late September, that should go without saying).