I'm Alive, And Signifying Such By Making Pre-Season Picks

American League:

West:

1.Angels- Boooooo. Boooooooo. Booooooo. Too much good pitching, too much upside. Blech blech blech.

2.THE HOLY GREEN AND GOLD- You could easily flop us into third with Texas. I refuse to stoop so low, however. Too many question marks, too little health, but, most importantly, too little impact talent. Nick Swisher is awesome, though.

3.Rangers- Still don't have the pitching, and I don't think their offensive upside is as great as it has been in recent years. They've got a shot though because the AL West as a whole is rather weak.

4.Mariners- Who knows. Maybe they could surprise. I won't be the one to predict it, though.

Central:

1.Indians- I picked the Cardinals to win the World Series every year from like 2003-2005. I didn't last year, and they finally up and won it. Similarly, I've picked the Indians to win the Central from like 2004-2006, and, in that spirit, will continue forever until I'm right.

2.Tigers- I didn't believe in the White Sox, and I didn't believe in the Tigers. The lesson learned from this is that I am wrong. A lot.

3.Twins- If only they had Liriano...

4.White Sox- I never promised hardcore analysis here. I dunno, I just don't like them this year. Their pitching underwhelms me, and I think they're too content with crappy hitters like Podsednik and Juan Uribe (who, to his defense, plays a fantastic shortstop.)

5.Royals- Alex Gordon will be fun to watch.

East:

1.Yankees- They'll have the best regular season record, but won't win the World Series. And it'll be all A-Rod's fault. Man he sucks. All those home runs and high OPS numbers. Glad he doesn't play for the A's.

2.Red Sox- I want to see Daisuke set the world on fire. I drafted him on my fantasy team, and he seems like a fun guy. They're a boring pick to win the Wild Card, but as the NCAA tournament just showed us, boring is right more often than not.

3.Blue Jays- They've got an interesting collection of talent. They could probably win the West. Instead, they'll be a bitter third place finisher.

4.Devil Rays- Because I like their young talent and the Orioles are horrid.

5.Orioles- Horrid.


National League:

West:

1.Dodgers- I wanted to go with the Diamondbacks, but Chris just told me they're too trendy a pick and I hate going with the overly trendy picks. Plus I hate Bill Plaschke which means the Dodgers will obviously do well and he'll have free reign to slobber all over Ned Colletti's balls.

2.Diamondbacks- They've got all sorts of young talent and upside. Like I said, I'd rather pick this team, but I don't conform to non-conformism.

3.Giants- Because I want my friend Danny to have some hope. He deserves it. Bonds'll break the record, too.

4.Padres- Boring collection of talent.

5.Rockies- I'll be honest. I have no clue what's going on in this division. The Rockies could come out of nowhere and win it just as easily as the Dodgers or DBacks. It's a crapshoot as far as I'm concerned.

Central:

1.Brewers- I don't like the Cardinals for winning the World Series while being such a mediocre team. It causes people to re-think the playoffs and the Wild Card and the World Series, and I like all these institutions and think they hold up for the most part. So screw you, Cardinals.

2.Cubs- Their fans deserve a real race. I think they've got a shot at it, at least. They spent a lot of money on only decent talent, which isn't smart, but it does at least mean they've got decent talent.

3.Cardinals- Boooo. Albert Pujols is awesome, though.

4.Reds- I think they're plucky. I like ex-A's Kirk Saarloos and Scott Hatteberg. I like Ken Griffey Jr. The Astros are boring and underwhelming talent wise. As you can tell, these aren't scientific picks, whatsoever.

5.Astros- They're not the Pirates. Sorry, Will.

6.Pirates- But in their defense, they at least have some intriguing young talent lying around. I kinda consider this division like the NL West, I honestly have no idea what the hell is going on. Who knows, maybe the Pirates could win.

East:

1.Mets- Best team in the NL obviously.

2.Phillies- They're gonna do it one of these years. I pick this year. Wild Card for you, Philadelphians.

3.Marlins- They're a fun team, aren't they?

4.Braves- My how the mighty have fallen.

5.Nationals- Hahaha man they suck.




Playoffs:
DS:
Yankees d. Angels 3-1 (yaaaaay)
Indians d. Red Sox 3-2

Mets d. Dodgers 3-0
Phillies d. Brewers 3-1

CS:
Indians d. Yankees 4-3

Mets d. Phillies 4-2

World Series:

Indians d. Mets 4-2



Awards:

MVP:
AL- Travis Hafner, Cleveland
NL- Albert Pujols, St. Louis

Cy Young:
AL- Rich Harden, Oakland (I don't care. I'm picking it. Because I want to.)
NL- Jason Schmidt, Los Angeles

ROY:
AL- Alex Gordon, Kansas City (duh.)
NL- Chris Iannetta, Colorado


Manager of the Year:
AL- Joe Torre, New York
NL- Ned Yost, Milwaukee