Saturday, May 26, 2007
Jason Kendall Caught Billy Beane Sleeping With His Wife
This is Jason Kendall's wife. You may not be able to tell from this particular photo, but she is very attractive.
This is Billy Beane. He continues to employ Jason Kendall, who is now slugging the Mendoza Line. Well, I lie. The actual Mendoza Line is designed to explode before anyone can slug it, taking the player with it, so as to save us all from having to watch such atrocious batting of the baseball. Unfortunately, Jason Kendall's man-rific beard stubble and grittiness somehow saved him where lesser veterans like Tony Womack and Neifi Perez perished.
Anyway, the only rational explanation for the fact that, in light of Jason Kendall's survival from the Mendoza Line's self-destruct feature and continued willingness to suck hard at baseball, Billy Beane allows him to take at bats for the A's every day is this:
Jason Kendall caught Billy Beane sleeping with his (rather attractive) wife, and Billy feels awful about it, and so allows Jason the one joy left to him, that being playing baseball.
I was gonna go further with this, and describe the pain it is to watch Kendall hopelessly ground out every at bat, or come up with a man on first because you know he's going to lightly tap it to second and initiate a double play, but, really, this is more Kendall than is necessary. Especially for a bored, throwaway mid-afternoon post that was more an excuse to make the dumb Mendoza Line joke than anything else. And even that was only made because the image of Jason Kendall's man-grizzle deflecting exploding flames and debris brings me delight, not because it's really any funny.