Thursday, May 24, 2007

In The Time It Takes Me To Write This Another Oakland Athletic Will Get Injured

Come, take a trip with me, a trip to a harrowing and dangerous the Oakland Athletics 40 man roster!

The Oakland Athletics 40 man roster is a place where no sane man wants to go, for he is assured the most gruesome of pulled hamstrings upon arriving. 1 in every 4 Oakland Athletic 40 man roster spot holders succumb to such a fate.

Let's take a look, shall we?:

RP Justin Duchscherer, 15 days
SP Rich Harden, 15 days
SP Esteban Loaiza, 60 days
RP Huston Street, 15 days
OF Milton Bradley, 15 days
OF Chris Denorfia, 60 days
OF Bobby Kielty, 60 days
OF Mark Kotsay, 60 days
OF Chris Snelling, 15 days
DH Mike Piazza, 15 days

Take a moment to bemoan the unfortunate fate befallen on these poor Oakland Athletics souls.

i used paint. on a laptop. there is slack to be cut.

This not even takes into account the lucky few who have returned from the horrors of the DL and other various nagging ailments, such as OF Nick Swisher, OF Travis Buck, 1B Dan Johnson, 3B Eric Chavez (the next likeliest candidate to rank himself amongst the DL-bound).

As such, trouble is afoot in the town of Oak, where Hiram Bocachica has been seen to start in center field, Colby Lewis has made a start, and Alan Embree has been annointed closer. The fair Athletics sit 4 games behind the tyrannical Angels.

Praise be to the heavens, however, for the beloved hero Jason Kendall and his mighty .192 batting average and .205 slugging percentage still stand tall and healthy. His manly grizzle will lead us on.

heroic grizzle

Eh, I tried too hard. Point is it's gonna take a miracle for us to beat the Angels if we keep accumulating injuries like this. (And not just injuries to random dudes. Like if Jay Witasick went down, that'd be dandy. But no, it's not Jay Witasick. It's Huston Street and Justin Duchscherer.) I didn't believe in miracles and then the Warriors up and pulled one off so now DO I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES? YES AL MICHAELS I SORTA DO.

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