Saturday, April 07, 2007

Mets - Braves Liveblog; Baseballs biggest Joe Buck RETURNS! Part 2

4:36 PM: Kelly Johnson is put away, Buck and McCarver both talk about "sitting on" answers. We get a nice shot of domestic abuse in the stands by Braves fans with those stupid tomahawks.

4:39 PM: Chipper, sick of being ridiculed, gives a ball a ride and the wind knocks it down fast enough for Alou to make a diving catch.

4:40 PM: DirecTV is ruining Major League for me. I have no desire to watch it ever again after this bullshit ad-campaign. I don't care about 1080-I, I just want you to stop ruining good movies. This is exactly like that Duke Phillips invention on The Critic that Jay Sherman saved us from, only worse.

4:42 PM: Edgar Renteria makes a clear error, as Shawn Green reaches. Joe Buck calls it an infield single. Bad eyes on the shortstop side of the infield, with a lot of misplays. Something to look out for. Smoltz is already past 100 pitches. Valentin pops-up.

4:44 PM: Glavine gets his second sacrifice down, and Reyes will be up in another clutch situation. They appear to be pitching around him, and so it falls into LoDuca's hands. LoDuca quickly gets into an 0-2 hole, and Braves fans boo lustily as a pitch 4 feet off the plate is called a ball.

4:49 PM: Ball 2. Long battle with LoDuca fouling off a lot of balls. Joe Buck brings up our record of failure in Atlanta, as if the Braves were not a great team. LoDuca strikes out. Buck rubs it in our face. Then cuts to a Chevrolet commercial that seems to be about how black people are allowed to like Chevy's. If I cut myself, this'd be where I'd be getting out the utensils.

4:54 PM: FOX camera work in the Mets bullpen looks like those webcams they used when we were on the ground in Iraq. Andruw Jones doubles over Wright's head.

4:57 PM: Francoeur singles over Valentin's head, and with McCann up the tie game is very much in doubt. Willie elects to stay with Glavine.

4:58 PM: Valetin makes a diving catch of a line drive, saving the lead, and setting up a double play situation that could end the inning. He's the best defensive second basemen I've seen for the Mets since the Fonz in his prime.

4:59 PM: Glavine goes 3-0 on Craig Wilson, which is not so cool, because there is no right-hander in the pen, and Matt Diaz has crushed both balls he's hit today. Walks him. Glavine will not give in! He is a grinder! Randolph unsurprisingly lets Glavine stay in.

5:02 PM: Glavine throws a ball. Diaz chases a ball way outside. Diaz hits a sacrifice fly, but Shawn Green forgets to catch it, because he's a horrible person and I hate him. 3-2 Braves.

5:06 PM: Official player of FC Pedro Feliciano gets the ball, although I really dislike this situation for him. I think this is more of a Heilman situation. Green catches the fly ball this time, it's 4-2, and it would be 3-2 if Shawn Green wasn't a Jewsy McStagger.

5:10 PM: Tim McCarver gets obsessed with sac flies, talking about some game he worked in the 90's or 80's or Mesozoic era where there was three sac flies. Camera pans to Ma and Paw Braves fan, bundled up, uncaring. Good image. Feliciano walks Kelly Johnson, and his shirt is split open at the back, and Willie goes to the pen again, this time fetching...wait, I can't tell you, because Joe Buck won't give me useful information.

5:14 PM: Joe Smith, rookie reliever, gets the call. He's been used in three straight games, and seems to be an awkward choice. Renteria bounces a ball off the plate, and Shawn Green's error looms even larger. Smith did look pretty solid though, and after being left in to face official Met killer Chipper Jones (TM), get an inning ending fly out to left. Now we get to see Atlanta's new pen: Gonzalez, Soriano, Wickman.

5:22 PM: Gonzalez is up first, he pops up Beltran, but Delgado takes him hard off the middle. Smoltz makes great observations about how the starting staff needs to step up if they want to be a good team, that they can't just rely on the 7-8-9 inning guys.

5:24 PM: "John Smoltz is the Dennis Eckersley of 25 years ago." Do I want to try? Nah. Wright flies out to center.

5:25 PM: "Teams will be lining up to get Smoltz. They'll say, you wanna start, you wanna stop? Thats why I think the Braves will keep him." I don't need to add commentary to this, McCarver speaks for himself.

5:27 PM: Alou walks, and they can't possibly let Shawn Green bat, can they? Oh god they're going to. This won't be pretty. One thing I think Willie could get a lot better at is pinch-hitting. Naturally, Green singles up the middle to make it 5-3. Why is it Shawn Green's quest to prove me wrong?

5:29 PM: Jose Valentin up against a left-hander, this won't end well. What Willie could really get better at is pinch-hitting in these spots against left-handers. Kelly Johnson catches a tough pop-up to end the inning.

5:33 PM: Randolph leaves Smith in, and Smith responds by walking Andruw Jones. Control is a problem right now for him.

5:34 PM: Joe Buck thanks some asshole I don't care about for helping them talk to John Smoltz and ruin the game. Smith gets a double play ball, Reyes-Valentin-Delgado. "Quite an antiquated telestrator," says McCarver. Like we know or care. How about we focus on the game? Would that be hard?

5:37 PM: The DirecTV GAMEBREAK, brought to you by DirecTV, in case you didn't notice. Hey lets have a DirecTV commercial right after the break! OVERKILL IS FUN!

5:39 PM: "One blanket, three people. Maybe five." "MAYBE EIGHT!" David Newhan grounds out to first against Soriano. Soriano is so dark that I can barely see his gruesome beard.

5:43 PM: Jose Reyes apparently strikes out despite hitting the ball and the catcher dropping the ball. I'm confused, he's confused, I think Soriano is confused. Buck too, but he's always confused. LoDuca grounds out to third.

5:47 PM: Scott "The Show" Schoeneweis comes in. They're still talking about the fucking telestrator. I have nominated "The Blow" for Schoeneweis' nickname, but I'm waiting to see where the rest of the Mets Blogs go with it.

5:50 PM: Someone may want to check Carlos Delgado's glove for holes.

5:51 PM: Fans start a "Shawn Green sucks" chant. HEROES. David gets a tough out on a broken bat grounder. He has improved his defense this year, I'll give him that.

5:53 PM: Scott Schoenweis picks off Langerhans, Jon argues that Bobby Kielty is worse than Shawn Green and that Shawn Green is cool. Jon loves him some players with long looping swings who can't play defense.

5:56 PM: An aside, I think the Sobe commercial is cute for now. I won't feel this way after I've seen it a thousand times, but it's pretty okay.

5:59 PM: Wickman is in for the Braves; he thankfully is the worst of the three relievers, so maybe we still have a chance. Beltran works him to a 3-2 count, then whiffs.

6:02 PM: Delgado also works him to a full count, but unlike Beltran, he walks.

6:04 PM: David up, and Wickman throws it to the backstop. 2-0 count, but David has looked horrible today. Another ball by Wickman. David was taking all the way on the 3-0 to get a strike. Singles through the hole! Another ball he didn't hit well, but at least it's a hit.

6:07 PM: Moises Alou up, bloops hit to center, easy out on the first pitch. Leaving the game in the hands of...Shawn Green? OH GOD NO! NOOOOOOO!

6:09 PM: Wright steals second, a single ties the game. But it's Shawn Green.

6:11 PM: Wow. Shawn Green's hardest hit ball of the game, and it's stabbed by Craig Wilson. 5-3, Braves win. The lesson I've learned? Don't liveblog.

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