Saturday, April 07, 2007

Mets - Braves Liveblog; Baseballs biggest Joe Buck RETURNS!

2:35 PM: I tune in to FOX to immediately see Jeannie Zelasko and Kevin Kennedy ugly up their broadcast crew even more than usual with the help of Joe Girardi.

2:36 PM: The Mets apparently lost the last laugh to the Cardinals because the Cardinals have rings. Nevermind the 20-3 sweep. No, the last laugh is the Cardinals! This is our country!

2:37 PM: Joe Girardi thinks the Cardinals are still 0-3. Kevin Kennedy thinks that the Braves are under the radar because they have new relievers. No mention of Mark Redman? He keeps teams in games.

2:39 PM: We talk about Daisuke Matsuzaka. Kevin Kennedy insults the Royals, who have two wins, by saying that most of their players should be in triple A. Now we're talking about Heroes and Goats. Starring ARod. Oh, FOX! Joe Girardi's hero, however, is Sal Torres. Will just peed himself. Jeannie's hero is the Yankees. Which makes all kinds of sense. Because Cory Lidle crashed into a building and they let his family show up at a game.

2:44 PM: Ken Rosenthal is giving us actual news. Andruw Jones is going to leave, Mike Cameron is going to replace him if the Padres don't re-sign him. Unfortunately this is too short to actually give us more than a tidbit.

2:46 PM: Jeannie says that Roger Clemens views MLB on FOX as Shop at Home. Forgetting that Roger Clemens only wants to pitch for three teams.

2:47 PM: Joe Girardi and Kevin Kennedy both have quick predictions, and apparently aren't allowed to explain them. Because we have to RUSH OUT to the game. Except really we have to rush out to commercials.

2:51 PM: We have a Mets cocksucking fest, with surprisingly little mention of the Braves. What really steams me is that I started a liveblog just for this event and Buck didn't even do what he was supposed to do: bitch about the Cardinals. Not even a cursory mention. I'm sure this'll change as we move on.

2:55 PM: I never understood this whole "let the players introduce their own lineups" thing, I think it's pretty annoying. Pink Panther Moustache Valentin is a good nickname though. "How personal was that?" asks McCarver.

2:56 PM: Nit to pick with FOX. WE GET IT. YOU HAVE PEOPLE PAYING FOR TIME. We don't need a slow-mo shot of the sponsor in the middle of the game, then a zoom-in on their sign in the goddamn park. We. Get. It.

2:59 PM: Joe Buck is annoyed by Chewbacca sound effects on foul balls. Tim McCarver brings up that it has been 3 years since they graced the Atlanta booth with their presence. As if they have done some naughty things in that booth. Paul Lo Duca takes Smoltz out to make it 1-0 Mets. McCarver says that he finally caught up to the fastball, two batters into the game. Finally!

3:02 PM: McCarver cries a river for Chipper Jones because he can no longer field pop-ups and miffed Beltran's. I feel bad for Chipper, honestly. He got booed last night. At the home opener. Thats gotta be rough, especially in a sell out. They don't have too many of those in Atlanta. Even in playoff games. Turner Field is (not) packed again. Joe Buck thinks it's the weather. He disses humidity, saying, "who cares?".

"What do you have against air conditioners?"
"Hey, they keep us warm in the summer, pal!"

3:05 PM: The Braves get an amazingly lucky double play when Delgado hits a very short pop up behind the plate on a hit-and-run, negating the infield fly. Both Buck and McCarver regard this as almost routine.

3:08 PM: Oh boy, Tim Hudson just called Chipper "Larry" in the player introductions. Bad day to be Chipper Jones already. Delgado catches Chipper-itis and flubs a routine catch, getting the Mets first error of the season. It should apparently count as two because Joe Buck hates Carlos Delgado.

3:10 PM: Glavine walks Renteria on four pitches. Glavine continues to get behind in the count. Chipper Jones wears out Mets pitching, and he continues to do so by popping up to Jose Valentin. His career numbers against the Mets, .333 with 34 homers, look remarkably similar to his average season numbers, and he's played 164 games against us. But he's "killed us". McCarver can't stop bringing up the "touchy feely", which I think must have something to do with the last time Tim and Joe were in this booth. Glavine walks the bases loaded.

3:17 PM: The Braves get a run on a chopper by Jeff Francouer. Buck and McCarver blame the error, not the two walks in the inning or the fact that Glavine has gotten behind every batter. Glavine escapes with only one run despite the lack of control.

3:23 PM: Chevy's American Revolution is apparently a thinly disguised attempt to make commercials so irritating that we rise up against them and burn down their corporate headquarters. Interesting strategy, lets see how it works out for them.

3:25 PM: We suck on some David Wright schlong for awhile. He's the face of the franchise and such. And he strikes out after a eight-pitch battle. ARod hits a walkoff grand slam, how unclutch.

3:29 PM: Shawn Green, taking a break from his customary ground out to second, grounds out to third.

3:33 PM: Thats more like it. Joe and Tim make up for lost time by mentioning the Cardinals three times in a 9 second span. Matt Diaz makes up for lost time by golfing a ball just barely over the fence, and the Mets trail for the first time all season.

3:37 PM: Valentin ranges far out to his right but can't field the ball, leaving the Braves with another baserunner as Glavine continues to struggle.

3:39 PM: Paul Lo Duca, sick of baserunners trying to steal on him (and usually succeeding), pegs Kelly Johnson in the shoulder on a stolen-base attempt. Malevolent!

3:45 PM: McCarver gives a lesson on bunt coverage, but won't criticize Brian McCann for not doing it, saying "he'll learn how to do it." We are only allowed to criticize lapses by the Mets, apparently. Valentin makes a heads up base running play, getting in a long enough rundown to get Reyes to third.

3:57 PM: McCarver and Buck don't apologize for the inconvenience of the hitters by having the late afternoon start times that creep the shadows between. Inconveniencing the hitters, inconveniencing America. Buck and McCarver.

4:01 PM: We get a great shot of John Schuerholz chugging down the remnants of what looks like a beer. Buck and McCarver laud him, fairly. David Wright chases out of the strike zone again, mainly because the umpires outside corner is growing enormous.

4:05 PM: One on, two out, Shawn Green up. This is going to be a problem for the Mets this year. Every time I've said that so far this year, he gets a hit. Alou is slow and can't score, so it's up to Glavine as Valentin will be intentionally walked. Glavine hits a pop-up that Chipper can't quite corral, and it's looking like perhaps the big hit won't come today.

4:13 PM: Brian McCann's graphic said "Did not know: sloppy person." You try to figure out what that means. Glavine is stubborn. He does not give in to hitters. Did I mention that he's stubborn?

4:23 PM: Leadoff walk to Reyes. This inning could be make or break for the game.

4:24 PM: We have one of those stupid dugout interviews in the middle of the game. Just let the managers do their job. Jose Reyes steals second easily as McCann over charges his throw and one-hops the bag. Reyes reaches third on Lo Duca's ground out.

4:26 PM: Apparently David Wright is a greedy bastard who would never give himself up. Not like that gritty, gutty, Paul Lo Duca. Beltran singles to left to tie the game. Joe Buck is being surprisingly smart about the game here by talking about how the Mets have a lot of trading chips if the rotation doesn't shape out well.

4:30 PM: Another single up the middle due to the shift on Delgado, past a diving Chipper Jones. Beltran advances to third. Huge at-bat for David Wright. He could really use an extra-base hit here, and instead he expands his strike zone. He looks lost. McCarver says that he's really getting around in New York, but not in Atlanta. I cringe. Alou grounds out to first, the game is tied, and this blog is thankfully half-way home.

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