The legend of Joe Randa: a link to the past

I am vowing here and now to avoid posting any absurdly optimistic "what-if" scenarios regarding the Steelers for at least another month. If, at the close of play on Sunday, December 3, the Steelers haven't lost a game, I'll consider looking at the rest of the AFC North and sorting things out mathematically. In the meantime, though, it's back to baseball.

Lost in all the Yuslan Herrera furor of the last week or so, an innocuous tidbit on Rotoworld passed by seemingly unnoticed:

"Joe Randa, who turns 37 in December, said he's done playing after 12 seasons in the majors."

Through no fault of his own, during the 2006 season the Joker was a microcosm of everything that's wrong with the Pirates under the Dave Littlefield regime. Despite the presence of a solid hitter capable of playing third base on a regular basis, Littlefield felt the need to spend $4 million on the services of Joe Randa.

Randa struggled in April, while this other guy came out of the gates hitting .333. When Randa went down with a stress fracture in his right foot just a day or so into the season's second month, Littlefield and Jim Tracy were left with no choice but to run aforementioned other-guy out to the hot corner every day, although Littlefield was still promising that Joe Randa was still the starting third baseman, even up until June 13, when Randa was activated and immediately inserted into the starting lineup at the expense of other-guy, who at the time was hitting .341.

Fortunately, Jim Tracy knows when he's been duped, and came to his senses and not only proclaimed other-guy the every day third baseman, but labelled him a "ballplayer," praise of the highest order from the mouth of Jim Tracy. Other-guy went on to perform some nifty defensive tricks in front of the home-town crowd at the 2006 All-Star Game and win the National League batting title.

Meanwhile, Randa had a modestly productive season, helping out wherever he was needed, even occasionally at first base, in the Pirates' quest to put some of the worst possible starting first basemen ever on the field. In that task, though, he was often defeated by the sheer incompetence of Jose Hernandez.

While some might look at Joe Randa's splits and see that he hit .410 and drove in 11 runs in the month of July and be quick to name that the biggest contribution he made to the 2006 Pirates, the fact is his biggest contribution was providing the team with their only link to the glorious, magical summer of 1997.

1997: THE FREAK SHOW

The scene: Kevin McClatchy is just a year removed from taking over the ownership of the Pirates and thus temporarily becoming a public hero for keeping the Pirates in Pittsburgh. However, he happened to purchase a franchise mired in debt, and in order to begin paying it off, he ordered the team stripped down and just about anyone making over the minimum to be dealt away. Jeff King, Jay Bell, Denny Neagle, Dan Plesac: all of them, scattered across the baseball landscape by general manager Cam Bonifay.

The opening day payroll in 1997 was approximately $9 million.

The Bucs were coming off a 73-89 season, and many pundits were predicting at least 100 losses for the upcoming campaign, and who could blame them? The Pirates were fielding a team that would be right at home a "Major League" movie. The opening day lineup included Jermaine Allensworth, Mark L. Johnson, 27-year-old rookie Tony Womack, and 20-year-old rookie Jose Guillen, who had never played above A-ball and celebrated being told he made the team by doing a backflip over a picnic table at Pirate City in Bradenton. And, of course, the Joker himself manning third base, having come over from Kansas City in the deal that saw Jeff King and Jay Bell liberated.

The rotation boasted four pitchers entering their first full seasons as starters in the Major Leagues. The team had no closer, and 30-year-old Minor League journeyman John Ericks was named the de facto stopper in Spring Training by new manager Gene Lamont.

The Pirates plodded through April, finishing with a 12-13 record. Along the way, John Ericks blew out his arm, and Rich Loiselle was anointed the new closer. Shortstop Kevin Elster, the Jack Parkman of the 1997 Pirates, severely injured himself about a week into May, leading the team in home runs at the time with seven. Elster would miss the rest of the season, and the Pirates would be forced to call upon the services of one Kevin Polcovich, a 27-year-old rookie who had missed the entire 1996 season due to injury. This competitive baseball, though fun while it lasted, was due to come to an end any day.

But a funny thing happened to these Pirates. This ragtag bunch of misfits kept winning games here and there. When all was said and done, the Pirates remained alive in the National League Central Division race (albeit, a very weak NL Central) until the final weekend of the entire season.

On a personal level, 1997 was also a groundbreaking year: it was the beginning of my masochistic dedication to baseball, and to the Pirates in particular. 1997 was the first spring I ever played the sport myself, which coincided perfectly with the Pirates doing something exciting on the field even they had no right to be doing so, which coincided perfectly with $1 upper deck G.A. tickets for kids under 14. The summer of '97 was the only time in the past 15 years that baseball fans in Pittsburgh have gotten to watch meaningful games after Memorial Day, and for that, I will always treasure my fond memories of this team.

• May 14 - Perhaps my earliest distinct memory of a Pirates radio broadcast. A wild, back-and-forth affair with the Rockies at Three Rivers Stadium. 3-1 Pirates turns into 6-3 Rockies turns into 6-5 Rockies turns into 9-6 Rockies. Then, in the bottom of the 8th inning, the Pirates simply explode for nine runs, capped off by an Al Martin grand slam. The exact soundbyte I remember is, on Martin's granny, Lanny Fratarre getting caught up in the excitement, being unable to simply add four to the Pirates score, and having to count up from 11. The Pirates move to 20-18, and are in a first-place tie with the Astros in the NL Central.
  
  This, I believe, was also the game where the term "Freak Show" was first used in relation to the 1997 Pirates, by Greg Brown and his blatant disregard for political correctness. The name stuck, and we were treated to clips of Brent Spiner showing off his pet aliens from "Independence Day" for the rest of the season.

• May 26 - My earliest distinct memory actually being at an entire baseball game. I have vague recollections of games in 1996 and earlier, but this was the game that truly made me fall in love with the sport. Although a 2-1, Memorial Day matinee loss to the Cubs, the 20,609 in attendance are treated to not one, but two inside-the-park home runs in the same inning, courtesy of Sammy Sosa and Tony Womack. Mark Johnson goes 0-for-4; he is on his last legs as starting first baseman for the Pirates, paving the way for Kevin Young's emergence.

• June 29 - With a 10-8 loss at the hands of the Mets, the Pirates drop to 36-43, 3 games behind the Astros in the NL Central. This was when the fun really began.

• June 30 - The Chicago White Sox come to town as part of interleague baseball's inaugural season. Jon Lieber not only tosses a complete game shutout, but strikes out Albert Belle four times. This is notable because Albert Belle cost more money than the entire Pirates roster in 1997.

• July 4 - In the spring of 1997, journeyman outfielder Turner Ward was frustrated with baseball and had not planned on playing anymore. He was happily helping coach his son's tee ball team when Cam Bonifay called him on one fateful morning in late April and asked him if he'd like to play for the Pirates, a la Jake Taylor in the first "Major League." On a muggy 4th of July in St. Louis, with the Pirates streaking, Ward hits a game-tying solo home run in the 8th inning, and the Pirates take the game in the 10th on a 2-run blast by pinch hitting hero Mark Smith. I heard the whole thing on the radio at my swimming pool.

• July 6 - The Pirates defeat the Cardinals, 6-3, for their 7th consecutive win, to move into the All-Star break at 43-43, one game ahead of the Astros in the NL Central race. Houston is due into Three Rivers Stadium for a 4-game series immediately following the break.

• July 12 - THE defining night of the 1997 season for the Pirates. Having dropped the first two games to the Astros, Francisco Cordova comes out and hurls nine innings, striking out ten hapless Astros, walking two, and not allowing a single one of that other stat. The only problem is, the Pirates haven't managed to score any runs, having been five-hit by Astros starter Chris Holt. Ricardo Rincon pitches a hitless top of the tenth, and the stage is set for history. Jason Kendall and Turner Ward draw walks off John Hudek. Mark Smith pinch hits for Rincon with two outs, and crushes a pitch to left-center field. Game over, securing the no-hitter, and moving the Pirates back into a first-place tie. Every time I hear Lanny's call, even today I still get chills.

• July 16 - I am at Camp Calvary for the first time. At camp, it tends to be hard to get much in the way of sports news. In later years, I would bring a clock radio so I could try to pick up KDKA at night, but back then I was almost completely in the dark. The previous night, the Pirates had rallied from a 3-1 deficit to beat the Mets at home, 4-3, to move a game up on the Astros. Some staff member has just returned from their day off with a copy of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. In the middle of the camp dance, they commandeer the DJ's microphone and announce that the Pirates are in first place. Cue all sorts of jock jams. Good times.

• July 21 - Esteban Loaiza vs. Curt Schilling. Yikes. With the game deadlocked at 2 in the top of the 7th, Kevin Polcovich takes Schilling deep for one of his four Major League home runs ever, in what's probably the most ignominious moment of Schilling's career. Bucs pull to within 1.5 games of the Astros, who have started to pick up the pace.

• July 27 - One of the last pre-scheduled doubleheaders we'll probably ever see. In San Francisco, the Pirates split the twinbill, but have fallen to 3.5 games out of first. This sticks out in my mind because I remember lugging a radio to the park so I could listen to the games and play kickball with the neighborhood kids at the same time.

• August 25 - In the second game of another pre-scheduled doubleheader, Joe Randa and Mark Smith hit back-to-back home runs in the bottom of the 9th to give the Pirates a 4-3 victory over the Dodgers. Their record after splitting the games is 67-65. They are still hanging tough in the division, 3 games behind those pesky Astros. Sadly, it's the closest the Pirates get for the rest of the season.

• August 31 - Bonifay, desperate for offensive firepower, deals for shortstop Shawon Dunston from the Chicago Cubs. After we were treated to numerous "Dunston Checks In" jokes, Shawon certainly did his part, hitting .394 with a .690 slugging percentage the rest of the way. Astoundingly, he didn't walk once and actually had a lower on-base percentage than batting average that month. Unfortunately, not even his heroics are enough to keep the Pirates afloat.

• September 17 - During an otherwise unremarkable 8-4 loss to the Astros, Dave Sveum hits a pinch-hit home run, his 12th of the year. In 1997, Sveum endeared himself to me as "the old guy" on the team, and also had his most productive season OPS-wise ever.

• September 24 - The end is nigh. With a 7-5 loss to the Mets, the Pirates fall to 3.5 games out with three games remaining, a series against the Astros in Houston. However, all the Astros have to do to clinch is take out the woeful Cubs on a dreary day in Chicago. The Cubs roll over, 9-1, and the Pirates miracle playoff aspirations are over. I hated the Cubs for a long time after that.

So, I'm sure most baseball fans will join me in appreciation for Joe Randa's serviceable career, but I personally thank Joe for his contributions to my favorite baseball season of all time, 1997.

The art of interpreting DL-speak

It's now been five years and four months since Dave Littlefield was installed as general manager of the Pittsburgh Pirates. In that time, Littlefield has accomplished absolutely nothing in the way of moving the Buccos towards respectability, instead aiding and abetting Kevin McClatchy and the Nuttings in their annual "drive for 75."

(note: the term "drive for 75" is used quite often in conjunction with the Pirates these days, and in case you're unsure, it simply a reference to the yearly offseason gathering of mediocre veterans who may have had a good year in 1998 or so in an attempt to win approximately 75 games and thus make it appear as if the club is making progress. Then management and ownership can have a big circle jerk while everyone else realizes the team isn't actually any better than it was six months ago.)

All Littlefield has done during his tenure at the head of the Pirates front office is enable the team to run in circles while he at the same time talks circles around any member of the media who should be unfortunate enough to find themselves in his vicinity.

A few days ago, Littlefield sat down with MLB.com's Ed Eagle, who seems to be the only person who covers the Pirates on a regular basis who gladly accepts huge Littlefield's diarrhea of the mouth and doesn't question it. Granted, MLB.com doesn't hire beat writers unless they're willing to be unabashedly positive about the team they're covering. Basically, they have to be the Greg Brown of internet journalism, a role at which Ed Eagle is second-to-none.

In this most recent conversation, Littlefield comes dangerously close to breaking the world record for most words used to say the least amount of relevant information (currently held by some guy named Dickens). Here are snippets from the exchange, with explanations of what Littlefield is actually trying to say.

MLB.com: Before we get into your offseason plans, what did you think of the job that Jim Tracy did in his first year as your manager?

Littlefield: I was very pleased overall with Jim's work and what the staff did, but obviously none of us are pleased with the overall record. We realize that we are in this business to win and we want to win the World Series.

We're more pleased, of course, with how the second half went. The young team is getting much better. I think it bodes well for next year and the future.

The Pirates finished over .500 in the second half, which is just the latest in a long series of statistics taken from a small sample that fit our desire to act as if any progress is being made. Like the time Tike Redman hit .340 in August and September.

MLB.com: Several of the players told me that they were doing a better job of buying into Tracy's philosophy in the second half. Did you get that sense as you watched the club?

Littlefield: I think it's a combination of things. First of all, we performed better, which is the key component to anything. You've got to perform.

A barrel full of laughs. It translates directly into Littlefield saying the team's record was significantly better in the second half because the players played significantly better. I hope you're starting to see why my ears hemorrhage regularly. But here's where it gets good:

MLB.com: You've said that you will be targeting a veteran right-handed starter and a left-handed power bat for first base or right field. Are there any other needs that you see on your roster?

Littlefield: We're going to try to upgrade wherever possible. As we look at the bullpen, the long man and another right-hander in the 'pen are probably likely.

Holy cow. A guy who's acquired five minor league relievers in trades in the past calendar year, claimed another one off waivers, and has a stable of minor league retreads at his disposal says we need more relievers.

We're always looking at our internal options first and then the possibility of a trade and whatever free agents may be out there.

We're just going to go with the status quo and see if that works before we try bringing in players that actually could end up being competent.

And probably a utility infielder who can play some shortstop would be a possibility.

We're going to continue to stock up on the positions that already have the most organizational depth. Excellent idea.

Overall, you're always looking to improve wherever possible.

He said literally the exact same thing four sentences ago. Phenomenal.

One thing I would say about the veteran starter -- ideally, I would like to have a player, in whatever roles that we're looking to fill, that falls in line with the same kind of age group and service time as that of the large group of core players that we have so that we can all grow together.

The "large group of core players" Littlefield speaks of are all 23-28. Since such players are usually nonexistent in the free agent market, something even Ed Eagle realizes (MLB.com: It's difficult to find a player in that age group as a free agent, isn't it?), and Littlefield isn't any good at making trades, he's eventually going to give Cory Lidle Jeff Suppan way too much money and say something like "with where we're at now, we need someone with the veteran presence (and mid-4 ERA) that a pitcher like Jeff Suppan provides."

MLB.com: [Pirates managing partner] Kevin McClatchy has said publicly that the payroll will be about the same for next season as it was in 2006. With several players likely to come off of the books this winter, will you use the resources that you have left over to target a marquee player or players to fill your needs, either via free agency or trades, or will you spread the money to acquire several players as you have done in the past?

Littlefield: That depends on who is out there and who we have a chance to get. We're open to all different possibilities. But it's got to be something that fits for us and that we think we can acquire.

We're not even going to consider the possibility of attaining one or two very expensive, very good players because I'm just not creative enough to do that. Instead, we're going to do the same thing we do every offseason, which is pay a bunch of guys who used to be good a few million dollars apiece and then pawn them off for more relievers in July.

MLB.com: What do you consider to be the team's areas of strength and depth that can be used to make trades to fill areas of weakness?

Littlefield: The team's strength, and the organization's strength, is pitching. Although, in general, one of the organization's strengths also is that we've got a large number of players who have low service time at the Major League level that have some ceiling that gives us a lot of possibilities for trades.

Wait wait, I thought you wanted more players with low Major League service time, and now you're talking about trading them away? More proof that there's absolutely no plan here whatsoever.

We also have some players who are flexible, who can play some different positions. That gives us the opportunity to not just focus in on one position, but look at a couple of different positions.

A TEAM OF 25 ROB MACKOWIAKS...

MLB.com: Will you be open to trading one of your young starting pitchers for a position player?

Littlefield: I'm open to everything. But I do think that starting pitching, particularly young starting pitching, is very, very valuable, especially when it's talented like the four that we have.

There are no absolutes. It depends on, as with everything, what the deal is.

We're going to wait until the young pitchers flame out completely (Ollie Perez comes to mind) before we try to trade them and then act surprised when no one offers anything substantial in return. Then we'll end up with either another relief prospect or a corner outfielder who's no better than what we already have.

MLB.com: You have several players who will be eligible for arbitration this winter, including Freddy Sanchez and Mike Gonzalez. Do you plan to offer any long-term contract extensions along the lines of the deal that you signed with Jason Bay last fall?

Littlefield: That is nothing that has been determined at this point. It's something that, with so many young players, we'll be looking at throughout the fall.

MLB.com: There is a possibility, then, that the arbitration-eligible players won't be signed for just one year.

Littlefield: There is a possibility, but there is nothing done at this point.

Go on, Ed. Ask him again. I dare you.

MLB.com: Brad Eldred, Sean Burnett, John Van Benschoten and Bryan Bullington are former top prospects who have been sidelined in the past two seasons by injuries. How much are you counting on these players to be contributors to the big-league club in 2007?

Littlefield: I would say that I am not counting on anything. But they will be looked at as potential backups or insurance. I'm sure we'll get one or two of them to come out and be surprises next year. I think it would be a mistake to count on it.

So Dave, would you say it's not advisable to count on injured players contributing next year?


Now you know my pain. One bit of fortune is that Littlefield managed to leave his favorite catch phrase, "with where we're at now," out of the entire conversation. Apart from that, though, an utterly cringe-worthy performance. I would expect nothing less at this point.

Being a Major League general manager should be an extremely elite job. There's only thirty such openings in the entire world! That Dave Littlefield has held onto his position for so long while displaying such a gross level of incompetence is absolutely disgraceful.

2006 Pittsburgh Pirates Award Ceremony: Xavier Nady

Xavier Nady: Only worthwhile trading deadline acquisition...ever

By putting up a .300/.352/.409 line in 55 post-July 31 games with the Pirates, equalling a very pedestrian .761 OPS, Xavier Nady became the first Dave Littlefield non-waiver trading deadline acquisition ever to do something positive immediately after arriving in Pittsburgh.

Every year, our wonderful general manager finds himself with some of the most attractive bargaining chips on the market, usually because the "drive for 75" is in full swing and management realizes it doesn't actually need all those mediocre veteran hitters it threw millions of dollars at in the offseason and run-of-the-mill relievers it has stocked up the wazoo in AAA. And every year, he lacks the creativity to turn some of these spare parts that might be useful to a contending team into something to actually build on for the future.

It is a true testament to the sheer outstanding incompetence of the Dave Littlefield regime that it has taken him five years to acquire someone before the July 31 non-waiver deadline who's capable of producing at average levels, even a full a year into their tenure with the Bucs. This feat is especially remarkable considering Littlefield's acknowledged desire to land "Major League ready" players in any and all trades he makes.

While it is true that he's made one successful deal before the August 31 deadline that requires players involved in trades to be passed through waivers, this of course being the Brian Giles for Jason Bay and two other guys who aren't really important swap. All that did, however, was prove the "blind squirrel" adage to be true. Littlefield was under no pressure then, as neither team was in contention and since Giles was under contract for one more year, the deal could just as easily have been consummated a couple of months later during the offseason. In fact, if anyone was pressured to make a deal then, it was Padres GM Kevin Towers, who wanted to lure the Padres fan base into believing the team was making a serious effort to contend heading into their first season in PetCo Park. This necessity facing Towers is probably the only reason the Pirates came out as well as they did in that trade. That and the fact that Littlefield was forced to take Bay as a second choice to, speak of the devil, Xavier Nady.

However, when the non-waiver deadline approaches, when the pressure is on Dave Littlefield to get deals done and get good baseball players in return, he has shown nothing but the ability to curl up in a fetal position and let other GMs skullfuck him. Let's take a look at the Pirates deadline deals during his tenure.

2001

• Damaso Marte: sucked, then was flipped to the White Sox in the offseason for yet another player the Pirates never gave a fair chance (Matt Guerrier).
• Tony McKnight: Ryan Vogelsong
• Mike Fetters: blew a bunch of saves, did that absurd head-snap thing before each pitch that gave people whiplash just from watching him pitch, was traded to L.A. the following year for yet another player the Pirates never gave a fair chance (scroll down).
• Armando Rios: blew out his knee in his second game as a Pirate, was later implicated for steroid use in connection with BALCO.
• Ryan Vogelsong: blew out his elbow in his second game as a Pirates, later earned the affectionate nickname "White Flag."

2002

• Duaner Sanchez: received from the Dodgers in exchange for Mike Fetters, touted as a "future closer," then got fired after sleeping through alarm and almost missing a day game in Montreal. I can certainly think of worse things to sleep through, but the Bucco brass saw things differently.
• Darren Lewis: our reward for completely ruining Chad Hermansen's baseball career. Lewis retired rather than take the field for the Pirates. The Cubs eventually gave us a couple of Minor League relief pitchers as compensation, but I don't think either one even made it to the bigs. This was the first time Littlefield received a mulligan for doing something incredibly stupid.

2003

• Frank Brooks: your standard AAAA LOOGY. Got Rule V'd and has bounced from club to club on a pretty regular basis since then.
• Brandon Lyon/Anastacio Martinez: lol sike, Lyon blew out his elbow in his negative second game with the Pirates and Littlefield got another mulligan because Theo Epstein was an impressionable teenager at the time.
• Jose Hernandez: yikes.
• Bobby Hill: "I can't say who the PTBNL will be, but it's someone you'll be excited about." - Lloyd McClendon
• Freddy Sanchez/Mike Gonzalez: this would completely disprove my theory, but as this shouldn't have even happened because Littlefield would have been content with Lyon and Martinez had Lyon not been injured, it doesn't count. And even if you consider Freddy a legitimate Littlefield deadline acquisition, it took him two full years to overcome chronic ankle problems/anti-Freddy bias.

2004

• Ty Wigginton: was so bad he actually got demoted to AAA in the same season Legendary Lloyd predicted he'd hit 25 homers. And he had that absurdly stupid beard.

Making Scott Spiezio look stylish.

• Jose Bautista: like Freddy, shouldn't even be a deadline acquisition because the Pirates actually had this guy and then he became part of the Great Rule V Debacle of '04. To be fair, Littlefield was correct in thinking no one in their right mind would select a 23-year-old with no experience above A-ball. Even if he counts, he hasn't proven to be totally useful yet. He could end up becoming a right-handed version of Rob Mackowiak.

2005

• J.J. Furmaniak: looked for a little while like he might have a career as a fringe utility infielder, then completely shit the bed in Indianapolis in 2006.
• Jody Gerut: oh we still have this guy I think, but you'd never know because his kneecaps keep falling off or something. Here's Dave's much-ballyhooed lefty power bat.

2006

• Shawn Chacon: I'm still in denial that this actually happened.
• Brian Rogers: Matt Capps, except skinnier, three years older, and not nearly as good.
• And, of course, Weapon X himself.

As you've now seen for yourself, Dave Littlefield's trading deadline track record is utterly abysmal. The two players who could maybe be considered good that he brought in (Freddy and Bauti) were the direct result of Littlefield fucking up in some other capacity first, and by no means an indication that he actually has some inkling of what he's doing when he's on the phone with other GMs.

You could even say the Pirates only have Nady because Littlefield has had an infatuation with him ever since Kevin Towers labelled Nady untouchable and made us take some Canadian guy who wasn't important because he was a 22nd-round draft pick and was already in his third organization instead. Nady, on the other hand, was so good he was given a Major League contract directly out of college.

Littlefield finally landed his guy, and now we'll never know what kinds of other offers were out there for Oliver Perez. It's really impossible to tell why, of all the league-average right-handed corner players, Nady was Littlefield's chosen one. Maybe he just wants to own the only person ever with a first OR last name beginning with X to hit a home run in the Major Leagues. This impressive feat becomes watered down some when you take into account that there are only three such players in history, and the other two are pitchers and also both named Xavier.

In fact, Nady isn't even the first Xavier to play for the Pirates. Xavier Rescigno was a rubber-armed swingman for the World War II era Pirates, so he was basically playing in the same league as one-armed outfielders. A Manhattan College graduate, he made his Major League debut in 1943 at the age of 30, meaning he was probably a high school teacher or something before that and got his big break when war broke out. From 1943 through 1945 he compiled a 19-22 record in 129 games (21 starts, 7 of which were complete games), and racked up 16 saves, most of which were probably of the three-inning variety. Then the real baseball players came back from Europe and Africa and whatnot and Xavier disappeared back into obscurity. At least, until I discovered this gem on EBay:

Xavier Rescigno pitching for the San Diego Padres of the Pacific Coast League at the age of 36.

Xavier Rescigno passed away on Christmas Eve of last year, but his legacy remains; of Rescigno's nine Major League hits, one happened to be a triple, thus preventing Xavier Nady from being the only player with a first or last name beginning with X to have hit a triple in the Major Leagues.